Crustaceans: Extinct
Mammals: Extinct
Plants: Extinct
Amphibians & Reptiles: Extinct
Birds: Extinct
Fungi: Interstellar hive-mind
this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
762 points (99.5% liked)
Microblog Memes
8757 readers
2582 users here now
A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.
Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.
Rules:
- Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
- Be nice.
- No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
- Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.
Related communities:
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Hot take: the fungi will take over all existing animal and plant life, and create a whole biosphere of fungi. Fungi crustaceans, fungi mammals, fungi plants, fungi amphibians, fungi reptiles, fungi birds.
The fungi humans would have achieved world peace, because there's no genders to create inequalities, and with spores flying everywhere, unwanted infidelity and physical differences are so common that anger and jealousy makes no sense.
Sure, but we will always have racism to fall back on
There's a phenomenal documentary series called The Future Is Wild that speculates on this question.
https://youtube.com/@thefutureiswildofficial
https://www.thefutureiswild.com/
It has 3 parts, projecting to 5, 100 and 200 million years into the future.
The main theme is that niches determine attributes. So when an opportunity opens up, one species will evolve to fill that niche. For instance sea birds evolve into whales. Octopodes evolve into primates.
I loved this as a kid. It was one of a handful of really influential pieces of media from my childhood.
I'm actually surprised octopus haven't evolved more than they already have. I suppose they would have to evolve skeletons to be able to survive on land so that's probably what's holding them back.
Crustaceans: Crab
Mammals: ~~Weasel~~ Crab
Plants: ~~Tree~~ Grass. Everything grass.
Amphibians & Reptiles: ~~Unchanged because they are perfect~~ Crab
Birds: ~~360° around back to dinosaurs~~ First of all, avian dinosaurs are dinosaurs. Secondly, 360° doesn't really make sense, probably they meant 180°. Finally, crab.
Fungi: I shan't speculate on the affairs of gods.
Moral of the story: You might not like it but decapods are peak animal evolution. All roads lead to crab.
Secondly, 360° doesn't really make sense, probably they meant 180°.
It makes sense if you consider birds to be a mid-360° position of dinosaur evolution. They started at "classic" dinosaurs, pivoted to the avian variety, and will continue to pivot until they return to their classic form.
Plants? Crabgrass.
Hotel? Trivago.
^ Winner of the thread.
Plant evolution is anything but stable. They keep evolving and devolving from weeds to trees and back every few 100 generations.
Mammals: Anteater
Ants: Crab
Mammals: Crabeater
360° makes sense if the starting point was dinosaurs. Birds would be the 180° mark.
Ring the crab bell
I don't mind being a crab imagine not working. Just be crab.
One fungus will eventually manage to mind control the crabs, like some already do with ants.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Even grass evolves to tree - look at bamboo
Or palms.
load more comments
(6 replies)
Plants keep evolving and devolving into trees every 100 generations.
360° "back" around to dinosaurs confirms that birds are still just dinosaurs
Edit:
I dont think they can go 360 maybe 270 those wings are a fundamental change
I mean we have flightless birds already, their vestigial wings could turn prehensile again eventually
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
Sharks: Sharks.
Even the gods fear the fungal network.
Raccoon also seems to be a pretty popular mammal convergance. Or generally small climbing quadruped with a varied diet and at least semi-functional hands.
Anteaters are more likely than weasels
wow this is fascinating, thanks for sharing!
load more comments
(1 replies)
Fungus head out to seed another planet.
WAAAGH!
Beatles. Beatles everywhere. Bowl cuts will go crazy.
"shan't" is a great word
All the fish are dead, of course.
Fish already don't exist
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(3 replies)
Everything in the system evolves into a cloud of dust and gas about 27 million years from now.
That's... that's very soon. What do you know‽
Evolution by Stephen Baxter (Wikipedia) was an interesting read.
Note: Baxter can be dry at times but i always enjoy the worlds he creates.
I respect the hell out of Baxter, he's a hard sci-fi artist. However, he's so unrelentingly bleak I had to quit reading his stuff.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Everything becomes crab on long enough timeline, Daniel-san. Be the lobster! Shell on. Shell off. Sift the floor.
view more: next ›