Dude is right though, doing something does not automatically mean you're guilty.

‘Don’t drink and drive. But if you do, call me.’ - Saul Goodman

• Found my new Lawyer.

• I think I found my new lawyer.

• I believe I have located and selected a lawyer who seems suitable for my needs.

• After a thorough search and consideration of several candidates, I am inclined to believe I have found a lawyer who appears well-suited to represent me.

• Following an extensive evaluation process involving multiple consultations and reviews of qualifications, I am of the opinion that I have identified a legal professional who possesses the necessary expertise and experience to effectively address my concerns.

• As a result of a diligent and painstaking process involving careful assessment of numerous potential legal representatives, including thorough background checks, detailed interviews, and a comprehensive review of their professional track records and client testimonials, I have reached the preliminary conclusion that I may have successfully identified a legal counsel whose skill set, experience, and commitment to client advocacy appear exceptionally aligned with the specific complexities of my situation.

• Subsequent to an exhaustive and meticulously executed undertaking, wherein I undertook a rigorous comparative analysis of a multiplicity of prospective legal advisors, encompassing in-depth due diligence regarding their respective professional credentials, a series of comprehensive consultations designed to ascertain their suitability for my particular legal circumstances, and a thorough perusal of peer reviews and client feedback, I am presently inclined to posit the hypothesis that I have, in fact, identified an individual possessing the requisite acumen, dedication, and jurisprudential understanding to serve as my legal representative moving forward, thereby instilling in me a burgeoning sense of confidence in the forthcoming proceedings.

• Subsequent to the commencement and diligent prosecution of a protracted and extraordinarily meticulous investigative undertaking, characterized by an exhaustive exploration of the legal marketplace and the comprehensive vetting of a multitude of potential legal advisors—a process which incorporated rigorous background investigations, exhaustive consultations designed to ascertain the alignment between their specialized expertise and the nuanced particulars of my unique legal circumstance, a scrupulous examination of published legal scholarship, peer-reviewed assessments, and a wide array of client testimonials—I am now tentatively inclined to posit the hypothesis that I have, after considerable deliberation and due diligence, successfully identified an individual possessing the requisite combination of legal acumen, unwavering ethical rectitude, and demonstrable experience in navigating the often-labyrinthine complexities of the legal system, thereby inspiring within me a burgeoning sense of confidence that their judicious counsel and diligent representation will prove instrumental in achieving a favorable resolution to the ongoing legal matter and ensuring the vigorous protection of my fundamental rights and interests within the framework of the established legal order.

• In the wake of a protracted and exceptionally meticulous undertaking, initiated with the express purpose of identifying a legal professional capable of providing astute and comprehensive representation in a matter of considerable personal significance, I have diligently pursued a multifaceted investigative strategy encompassing a thorough exploration of the legal profession, a systematic evaluation of numerous potential candidates, and an exhaustive scrutiny of their respective qualifications, professional backgrounds, and demonstrated capabilities. This rigorous vetting process involved not only an in-depth analysis of their academic credentials and bar admissions but also a comprehensive review of their professional experience, including a meticulous examination of their case outcomes, client testimonials, and published legal commentary, as well as numerous consultations designed to ascertain the congruence between their legal philosophy, approach to client advocacy, and the specific nuances and complexities inherent in the unique circumstances of my current legal predicament. Furthermore, I have meticulously researched relevant legal precedents, examined judicial rulings, and considered the potential legal ramifications of various courses of action, all in an effort to ensure that the individual ultimately selected possesses the requisite knowledge, skill, and experience to effectively navigate the often-intricate and adversarial legal landscape. Consequently, and following a period of careful deliberation and thoughtful consideration, I am now cautiously optimistic – albeit tempered by a healthy dose of legal pragmatism – that I have, through a process characterized by exhaustive due diligence and unwavering commitment to securing the highest caliber of legal representation, successfully identified an individual whose expertise, integrity, and dedication to client advocacy appear exceptionally well-suited to champion my interests and vigorously pursue a just and equitable outcome within the framework of the established legal system, thereby instilling in me a renewed sense of confidence and anticipation regarding the forthcoming proceedings.

I don't know why people hate LLMs, they are like having your own middle-manager.

Edit: format

"Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?"

I kinda like this as a way to market based on the potential for affirmative defenses.

How could i make this funnier?

I think i found my new lawyer.

Perfect