Newsflash! Every beer bottle can be put in sand quite easily already.
this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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Ignoring the flareless butt plug shape for a moment - what prevents you from sticking a flat-based beer bottle into the sand, and why would you choose a shape that can’t be put on a table or upright in a fridge?
It’s a pretty looking bottle though :)
The long-time tradition of sticking objects into one’s anus transcends borders :)
Oh wait…you were referring to bottles that can’t stand upright, weren’t you?
I used to have one of these! I delivered plastic to one of the bottle companies in Germany with my dad, and I was given one.
They’re perfect for keeping a joint safe, if that’s your thing.
They are commonly used to hide geocaches, so if anyone asks: that's only a place for your geocache
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Ignoring the flareless butt plug shape for a moment - what prevents you from sticking a flat-based beer bottle into
Thought this was going another direction...
Nothing. You just have to "shape" the hole a little more.
I do not recommend sticking a beer bottle into the sand when it's 30°C though. That's a sure way to get disgustingly warm beer
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Without a base, without a trace.
Hollow and made of glass? Don’t shove it in your ass.
Probably the only bottle you can use for sex is a champagne bottle. Since those don’t break as easily.
I wonder... What if you removed the wires holding the cork, inserted said cork end of the bottle, and shook the bottle mercilessly. How would the ER get to the cork from that far up?
I'm sure they can extract it from your chest cavity during your autopsy.
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Tie a string around the top and launch it into someone's ass with a spud cannon. Rectal harpoon.
Then pull back with Scorpion line: Get over here!
Holy cow, this is great. Thank you. I will be stealing this handy little phrase.
I can't take credit for the phrase. On the podcast Jordan Jesse Go with Jordan Morris and Jesse Thorne, they celebrate Anal August. It's a month where they celebrate anal toy safety.
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Why would you put your beer in the sand? It'll get hot quickly.
You also put water in the sand. As the water evaporates, the beer will grow a small beer-tree with 6-7 small beers you can harvest.
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Hold my beer.... WAIT! NO!!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!!!
Why would you want to put a bottle in the sand? Wouldn’t the sand just warm up the beer quicker?
In case you don't want it in your ass?
Why would you want to put a bottle in your ass? Wouldn’t your ass just warm up the beer quicker? Hmmm... although if I shove ice up their first...
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fun fact: people often go to the er from 'falling' onto objects like beer bottles and then getting them stuck, a friend of mine once sent me a picture of a closet in the hospital she works at that was filled with the objects people had 'fallen on'
Is that some kind of trophy room?? Why are they keeping them???
For the aroma.
I guess so... We have a cabinet full of stuff people stuck up their urethra. They are cleaned and kept. I don't know why, maybe just for fun. And yeah it's fun to look at that.
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A guy shoving a beer bottle up his ass is one of the things that precipitated the collapse of Yugoslavia
No one talking about the fact that the label says "Cream Blindness"??
Don't put glass bottles up your ass, they can break. PET bottles, preferrably filled with water if thin walled, are more recommended as a crude DIY solution, but still have their own issues, like lacking a base, and still can break.
Whatever happened to putting a condom on produce? Cheap, infinite choice of shape and size and no sharp edges if it breaks
at least the sharp edges of the bottle cap could dig in and therefore function as a sort of a base
Apparently I'm that guy, but I definitely think it would just tear about 20 neat little grooves in one's rectum, and not do jack shit to prevent it being "lost"
Why else would the tip be ribbed
Well too bad now I am definitely thinking about it.
Don't fuckin' tell me what to do.
Do not stick this bottle in your anus.
I will not be suppressed.
And because:
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