this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
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[–] folaht@lemmy.ml 4 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Autism + male

It's like trying to find water deep in the desert.
You'll be lucky to find a mirage.
But most of the time you'll find others also trying to find water.

[–] jerkface@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 day ago

Found someone with similar issues, and we are able to support each other in ways other people can't.

[–] Lazhward@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago

Well let's just say social anxiety doesn't help.

[–] 6R1MR34P3R@lemmy.ml 1 points 22 hours ago

same as everybodys else

[–] halfsak@lemmy.world 24 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] savedbythezsh@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As someone with a mental disorder, I prefer DD(YY)MM

Gentlemen, this is a serious case.

[–] howrar@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know if my autism has anything to do with it, but this is also my preferred dating format.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 3 points 22 hours ago

ISO 8601 gang #represent

[–] Sandouq_Dyatha@lemmy.ml 9 points 1 day ago

nice try feds, I won't let you know if I have sex

ASPD here, like others with my condition I find it hard to have a relationship that goes on for more then a few weeks. I get bored of people really easily and I can't empathize with anyone else.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Unfortunately I am not really meant for the dating world. I have absolutely never had a libido, could never feel sexual pleasure, have extreme social anxiety, and am also too mentally unstable for people to be dealing with me all of the time. Growing up was sure odd to see people start pairing up with one another begining in my pre-teen years. At that time in my life I was too busy chanting insult words repeatedly to myself walking around the halls at school to really speak to other people too much.

Here I am as a full fledged adult now in my 30s. At least I've managed to stay employed so far with a decent career. But I've been causing issues at my job due to my instability that may threaten that.

But dating has never been in the cards for me. I've never really done it and will definitely die alone. It's weird because at least a part of me is still human and still needs human connection.

sigh

Idk. Good luck out there, OP. What flavor of issues are causing you to struggle with it?

[–] weeeeum@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You sound asexual, have you tried dating other asexuals before?

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Is that when you only date Canadians?

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 19 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I never thought I would have a healthy relationship with ASD+ADHD. I found someone who is my equal and we have an extremely fulfilling relationship that's full of both amazing fun moments and frustrating ones, but we always understand each other. Which helps with our son as well, as he's a carbon copy of us.

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

This is awesome and is how i feel about my current relationship. We are only a few months in but it just feels right. We both have asd and adhd and she has a few extras. We both take meds to help manage it but we just... Understand each other.

Obviously it can fail, but we sure hope it doesnt.

Imo, a relationship with a mental disorder needs an understanding of the disorders of both parties. Both people having asd is kinda what i needed in my life as we understand eachother and our own quirks and know what helps or how to deal with them

[–] BussyGyatt@feddit.org 13 points 1 day ago

Everytime I think I'm doing well enough to "put myself out there" I crash out again. I think I'll probably die alone.

[–] truite@jlai.lu 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know. I never date without.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

Agreed. It has odd syntax. Not unlike dating ADHD+THC, I'm sure.

[–] locuester@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

If I have one? Of course I have one! Everyone does nowadays!

[–] ArgumentativeMonotheist@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

The mixture of the racing thoughts that come with hyperactivity plus my own attachment issues derived from a difficult and physically abusive childhood have made me someone who gets easily triggered by even a semblance of disregard or lack of kindness, and then I start yelling... I've had to consciously change my understanding of the world and I'm still trying to properly use the mental tools required to stop/slow the negative thoughts that end in me getting upset. The one lady I fell for and dated years before I met my now wife broke up with me because of my anger and proclivity for starting arguments, after all. Outside of relationships, I used to pick fights at the slightest indication of perceived danger/disrespect, something I had to get out of my system as well to live in society. In my defense, being in the FFL for 5 years was not helpful in trying to push down/recalibrate my aggression. But, with my wife's help, I've managed to reach a 'healthy' and stable point in my life, and I'm sharing this today so y'all don't lose hope. πŸ™β€οΈ

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

You know? Thank you. I found a lot in there to mull over, and it seems to lead toward clarity β€”so, that's a bonus! πŸ™‡πŸΌβ€β™‚οΈβœŠπŸΌ

It sucks. And for many years I avoided building a relationship, as much as I wanted to. Because I knew the shit that could happen, knowing how I am. But, in order to really live, you have to jump in the pool and get muddy. With the proper therapeutic treatment to go with it, of course.

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Autism, depression, anxiety, ADHD. I'm not dating, and I don't plan on it until I'm the fuck out of America forever.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

I have all four of those things too. I wanna date but its hard. I desperatly want to meet someone but I'm shy and I feel I haven't much to offer her right now. I wanna leave this country at some point too but it's hard. I need to get back to language learning, it'll help with that I think.

[–] dawcas@scribe.disroot.org 6 points 2 days ago

Nonexistent.

[–] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 days ago

Dating is non-existent for me as I have BPD, which makes socializing really hard, in general.

[–] Zaxo23@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I have schizophrenia.. I’m better off alone.

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

I've met schizophrenics in loving relationships. I don't have it so I don't claim to know what it's like but it's no reason to give up.

[–] J4g2F@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'm also schizophrenic and in a loving relationship for almost 4 years. Dating was hell sometimes. Most of the time told it a second date. I don't remember how many I have been gohsted or told they can't date someone with multiple personalities (which isn't schizophrenia of course), told them that and moved on.

But after my diagnose I had more good contacts with dating then bad. Before my current relationship. I had a relationship of about a year. It ended, but we are still friends.

And I know many people with schizophrenia that are in a happy relationship. Some with children.

So I don't know your situation, but having schizophrenia isn't necessary a deal breaker for some people. Dating is something on it's own and yes having any mental health issues makes it harder. But there are loving people that can love you for the person you are β™₯️

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 1 points 7 hours ago

Schizophrenia wouldn't be a deal breaker for me in the slightest. The ones I've met are pretty normal, chill people.

[–] Zaxo23@lemmy.ml 1 points 13 hours ago

I appreciate your story.. I’ll keep it in mind.

How would you know?

[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have a touch of the tism. Dating isn’t for me

[–] CandleTiger@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Everybody is their own person and dating may not be for you, but autism does not have to mean that. I have a diagnosed autistic friend who dated so much they have two spouses now.

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Are they prepping for the collapse of civilization? Pre-building a tribe? It might actually work, but I have so many questions.

No they’re kind of just doing their thing how their thing feels best to them

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 5 points 2 days ago

don't date ; just mental