memes

It depends so much on regional norms.

Out on the West Coast of the US, painted nails on men is very common, while usually an indicator of an "alt" lifestyle or a particular attachment to fashion, it's not entirely uncommon to see a dude in a suit with black nails and might only get a few passing comments like "Wow, you pull that off!" or "Haha, how does your wife feel about you using her cosmetics?" at worst.

But if you move East by one state boundary you literally might get cussed out or glanced at like a predator or worse, depending on how deep you go into small town mormon communities and the like.

I'm also in England, though in the South, where we're all soft fairies.

And yeah, the response can be annoying, but the way I see it, I'm a gobby, fat, mostly-straight cis guy who's married to a woman, so the abuse I might receive is nothing compared to some others. So if I can go any way at all towards helping to normalise something as benign as painted nails on a straight man, then I will.

Yes. And women should be worried around them.

I would think it would be easier, that being the case.

Inexperience and young girls mistake being a dick with confidence

How about:

Many men, and women, and every other kind of human, often mistake confidence and decisiveness ... for competence, reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility.

...

This is by no means totally specific to a sex or gender, it applies broadly, in all kinds of social situations, business relationships, etc, between all kinds of genders and sexes.

This innappropriate or overweighted heuristic tendency also tends to lessen with age, as people gain first hand experience and knowledge that this heruistic, this intuition, this assumption... is actually often not accurate.

...

Anybody with decent charisma, which a huge component of is an above average, but not overwhelming level of outwardly displayed confidence, stands a better chance at convincing most people of basically anything, intentionally or unintentionally.

Lots of overly confident people bulldoze into a situation, legitimately believing they were well equipped to handle it in an ethical way, only later to realize... oh, I am in way over my head, I fucked up.

Lots of overly confident people also just know they are full of shit, and intentionally bulldoze through, and then either gaslight about how they did nothing wrong, or just fucking vanish.

This again works beyond just interpersonal romantic relationships:

For every bonafide grifter con artist (crypto for dudes, cosmetics MLMs for gals), there is a well intentioned new boss or manager who basically accidentally fucks up the entire department out of inexperience and hubris...

And both of those are often aided by their natural, above average levels of confidence and charisma.

A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.

idk I think that's needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they're also an asshole.

When you say things like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities" it's incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.

Like begets like. I've known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.

This also takes away agency from people. In fact, I am sure that there would be a way to diagnose every single relationship ever as a form of abuse in which someone takes advantage of someone else's something.

Adults are responsible for their choices, and particularly in the case of "assholes", that is often associated with being assertive, dismissive and some people just like that kind of "I am the main character" features. Maybe there are even some deep rooted evolutionary reasons for that, I don't know. Anyway, painting anything as victim-oppressor dichotomy IMHO is nonsense.