this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 35 comments
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[–] xavier666@lemmy.umucat.day 7 points 1 day ago

This looks as if Dwight from The Office wrote it

Those peasants should be happy management thought about them at all

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 32 points 2 days ago (2 children)

People just don't want to work no more, so you got to give them snacks to keep them engaged.

Here's an idea, lower your profits by 15%, triple everyone's pay, and watch them all walk in whistling a happy tune every morning.

Or, y'know, give them a banana. That should work just as well.

Companies paying their workers minimum wage

Companies also complaining that “no one has any disposable income anymore”

#JustCapitalismThings

[–] scottrepreneur@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

How much could one banana cost? Five dollars?

[–] GreenCrunch@lemmy.today 3 points 2 days ago

Sorry folks. Because of the banana handouts, the company is short on cash for the quarter, so there will be no bonuses or raises.

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 67 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Whoever gets there first gets the banana

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 34 points 2 days ago (2 children)

the HR manager dangling the banana from a fishing line from the upper floor: "Yes... Dance, monkey! Dance for your banana!"

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 12 points 2 days ago

"Last Person To Leave The Office Gets A Banana." Mr. Feast, 2025

[–] BootyEnthusiast@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

That's some serious quantity you've got there !

[–] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 days ago

We do call the windshield wiper liquid dispenser thing a "piss boy" so makes sense.

[–] skisnow@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 days ago
[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is this a leaked frame from the season 3 of Severance?

[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Is there a third season? I wasn't sure if they wrapped it they way to be over

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 4 points 2 days ago

Not yet, but they confirmed the renewal, I think

[–] criss_cross@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Is this an Amazon run place?

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not two not three, a banana

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 8 points 2 days ago

No - A Banana

As in, a top-tier, Grade A fully fresh yellow Banana! You think you'll get a B Banana? HELL NO. Only A Bananas here, my friend!

[–] renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] LordCrom@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

But code monkeys prefer Fritos with Tab or Mountain Dew

[–] KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

Code Monkey very simple man

[–] weirdbeardgame@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Monkeys use leaves to buy banana.

[–] My_IFAKs___gone@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cavendish or Gros Michelle?

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Gros Michelle already went extinct, so I can only assume it's a Cavendish. But I don't think this one with grant you X3 mult on your salary :'(

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 12 points 2 days ago (3 children)

You can still buy gros michel bananas, they just cost $20 a bunch because so few people grow them these days

[–] jj4211@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I mean, it's one banana. What could it cost? 10 dollars?

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I tried ordering a portion of a guy's crop before it grew. Sadly the crop failed and I was refunded. I really want to try a gros michel.

[–] nomy@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 day ago

Some co-workers and I were talking about ordering some to try, just for fun. I think I'm going to do that.

[–] synapse1278@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Not sure I ever came across one.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

You won’t find them in grocery stores. But they’re worth ordering for actually-homemade banana pudding.

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

*Limited supplies (10)