this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 11 points 6 days ago

One man's cum is another man's income

[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Image the culprits, suspected to be fuck-goofs

[–] QuantumSparkles@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] PhoreTwunny@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

He's a twiggy alien that's severely allergic to dogs

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago
[–] RizzoTheSmall@lemm.ee 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

How do you fence 30k of cow spunk?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago

I don't know, but once I was flying business class and the guy next to me had a liquid-nitrogen flask full of prize-winning brahma bull spooge. According to the guy, couriers like that are well-compensated. Made my work seem meaningful in comparison.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Is nothing sacred?

[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago (2 children)

How much volume is 30k of bull spunk? I'm thinking it must be at least a bucket full.

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 8 points 6 days ago

The official unit is bull-kkake.

[–] Treczoks@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Do they plan to make Red Bull?

[–] BenLeMan@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Prost Mahlzeit!

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

My milkshake brings all the bulls to the yard

[–] thelittleerik@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

New Jackass Episode???

[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

The barrel was probably mistaken for Nuclear Bloom

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago

"Quick, spit it into this thermos!"

[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 6 days ago

Finally, bull milk!

[–] omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago

Creamy and delicious

[–] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Did no one see this coming?

[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] instantnudel@feddit.org 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)
[–] Magnum@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Well it's a little obvious don't you think? Who else would be able to handle this absurd amount of semen? Also what would an average person do with it? Exactly. Only a person that craves the seed like we crave for oxygen would do it. Somebody that literally breaths fresh life (because of semen)

Do you have any reason (or alibi) why it should not be you?

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 31 points 1 week ago (3 children)

30 thousand euros worth? Where are they sold?

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 1 points 5 days ago

There are online marketplaces for it.

[–] JustARaccoon@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago

Other farms for insemination, my guess. I'd imagine they're for specific breeds.

[–] remon@ani.social 38 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Regrettable_incident@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

If only there was a vegan alternative.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

you may not have any of my flower semen.

edit: no that's mean take a teensy piece

[–] F04118F 1 points 6 days ago

Veganism implies consent.

Do I need to spell it out for you how to get a load in a vegan way or can you figure it out?

[–] moody@lemmings.world 10 points 1 week ago

These guys were THIRSTY!

[–] Captain_Baka@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Kinda looks like milk, so maybe they were thirsty?

Taking a bath in style

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 19 points 1 week ago

The pedigrees of steers is a world unto itself. I've heard stories of people who were in the business getting wined and dined by governments. Bizarre but pretty interesting.

[–] QuentinCallaghan@sopuli.xyz 10 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Why there are no movies about sperm bank robberies?

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

Wasn't that one plot point of Man of Steel?

[–] sudneo@lemm.ee 1 points 6 days ago

There is Brassic episode about stealing bull sperm (although from a farm, not a bank).

I think it's S3e01

Probably because the actual plot would be nowhere near exciting enough to compensate for the draconian restrictions enforced by ratings agencies for daring to mention human reproduction 🤷