CEOs are actually the easiest role in a company to replace with an LLM, because their whole job is just to say meaningless, flattering, and reassuring things to investors.
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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are CEOs really dumb enough to try and replace their own goddamn jobs
I’m going to laugh if ‘the shareholders’ embrace the idea of a c-suite free company because they’re so expensive and do nothing.
If I were a CEO (and therefore likely a shareholder making more on capital gains than whatever salary I "earn" on the books), I would relish the opportunity to pump the value of my stock with meme hype and then get a sick severance package from the machine I told to "fire" me. Aww, shucks, I sure wish I could keep coming to the office and pretending to work instead of staying home in my million dollar gooncave pursuing my actual passions.
but their actual passion is coming to work and saying insane things to their underlings...
This is how they will juatify being ceos over a hundred companies
Yes
A stunning 47 percent of several hundred CEOs and other executives surveyed in 2023 by Harvard and MIT said the role of CEOs should be completely automated by AI.
based and solidarity pilled, thank you executive comrades
God, it'd be so funny if a BoD fires their CEO to replace them with an LLM
Even if that happens, it's not the win one might think it is. The capitalist economy serves capital, not CEOs. CEOs are just the best-paid servants of capital. They, especially founders, get a lot of capital themselves but conflating the two is an error and, in our era, largely a consequence of the rise of tech. A generation or so in, we're seeing that the incredibly rich CEOs can step down without pausing the harm their companies cause. Nadella owns 0.01% of Microsoft. That's $339 million, so not paltry by any means unless you're comparing it to Gates' or even Ballmer's stakes. Still, we haven't seen Microsoft shift into non-shittiness and won't see that under a pivot to AICEOs that survive on electricity and newsfeeds alone. The problem will still be capitalism, even if it doesn't have a head to cut off.
I really wanted to submit my idea of automating our c-suite's roles to 'boost financial metrics' to our anonymous suggestion box
Looks like I might not have to do that at all
Combine this with that other AI story from earlier this year and we've got something going here:
What the actual fuck
Ohyeah that one was fucked. The sister of the deceased put her words of her victim impact statement in her brothers AI mouth and said he would've loved it. She was interviewed all over the world and pushed back against anyone who even slightly suggested she did something even a little wrong. I know she's grieving or upset, but its completely fucked. Apparently the judge found it moving and powerful. I guess from now on, defence attorneys can just play "yeah I forgive my killer" AI videos in court.
So no change then?
Presenting
Dead C-suite Theory
47 percent of several hundred CEOs and other executives surveyed in 2023 by Harvard and MIT said the role of CEOs should be completely automated by AI.
Yep.
CEOs huffing their own farts about AI, but this time it's going to work because CEOs were useless before as well
"A computer can never be held accountable, therefore a computer must never make a management decision"
Anyways what if we strapped a text extruder into the C-suite and let er rip?
It's not like people are held accountable, so really, what difference does it make?
Can't a computer with anywhere near the same effect
Police are examining footage of a hooded person seen pressing the EPO button at OpenAI's datacenter. We have received the following image of the suspect's weapon:
and who cares about accountability anyway, the only thing that matters is RESULTS
Personhood for LLMs, coming to a county near you in 2028.
Doesn't sound like much of a change then
can't wait for the power to go out during a wet bulb event in July so a CEO can snort lines of cocaine as his AI double hallucinates a meeting
Just need to get enough CEOs and other C-suite folks to actually do it. While poisoning the shit out of the AI being used to tank the shit out of all of them. Would also be hilarious if the AI were to put up lots of money to hire hits on the physical versions of themselves). Could maybe see the AI put out internal orders for unions to be not only supported, but required, along with purging all employee records of write-ups (or whatever disciplinary records that would otherwise be used to target organizers of the unions). Just get as many points of chaos going openly and secretly.
Extremely critical support to CEOs having AIs give their quarterly earnings only to have it hallucinate its way into becoming a third-world Maoist and calling for the shareholders' executions.
new excuse for execs to get high as hell and spout a bunch of bullshit before walking it back
The Elon Musk playbook.
At what point do their bullshit antics become classified as like a kind of mental terrorism? Deliver us from these idiot godkings
Horatio, but as farce