this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Bosht@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I used to have the habit of sending 'kk' instead of 'ok'. Boss was a black woman. One day she messaged me and in response I put one too many ks....so 'kkk'. I profusely apologized and she laughed it off but yeah, that was the end of me doing that, haha.

[–] Chip_Rat@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I (mid 30s woman) am boss and I txtd one of my guys who isn't around very often (he works a different shift basically, sometimes we overlap, usually we don't)

"Hey 60 year old married man when you have a minute. Swing by my office, I've got something for you."

I had a company gift to give him.

Auto complete decided the lips emoji was the best ending to my TXT. You know, the sexy red kissy lips.

I NEVER use that emoji. I never use emojis, when I told this story to other workers who I TXT regularly they were like "you yeah write out jazz hands or *sparkle emoji"

But my phone knew what that innocent TXT needed. Awkward, potentially work relationship ruining lips.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

This is why I just...hate touch screen keyboards. T9 never made that kind of editorial decision, and a physical QWERTY keyboard with no software correction running at all didn't either.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think the problem is you hate autocorrect and not the keyboard itself. I don't have autocorrect on mine and it's fine

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 1 points 46 minutes ago

touch boards are so shit they barely work wothout assistance.

[–] remon@ani.social 38 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Could have been avoided by using metric.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Side note: if you say you're 6.5" long, it sounds like you care too much about that extra half inch. If you say you're 17cm, that's just how long you are.

You're welcome, penis owners.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 7 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] MintyFresh@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago
[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 2 days ago

Sounds just smaller, metric bad.

[–] jim3692@discuss.online 23 points 2 days ago

Could have avoided "!" altogether, and send "For you I have 720"

[–] Gaxsun@lemmy.zip 36 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I'm sorry, is this some sort of imperial joke I'm too metric to understand?

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 24 points 2 days ago

Yes. He's offering his 15 cm

Roughly the size of an average penis. Makes it seem like he just offered to give her the "D".

Which is a trip right to HR.

[–] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 days ago (4 children)

On my keyboard, those keys are pretty far apart

[–] dee_dubs@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Different keyboard layouts. The big difference between UK and US layouts tends to be swapping the " and @ symbols, so on a UK keyboard the ! is shift+1 and the " is shift+2.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 4 points 2 days ago

Maybe not on mobile keyboards? Giving the benefit of a doubt here.

[–] boonhet@lemm.ee 3 points 2 days ago

Estonian layout for an example has " on 2 shift + 2 and @ is alt gr + 2. ! Remains on shift + 1

We don't use inches much at all though. But I'm sure there are other layouts with " on 2

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 12 points 2 days ago

Ask for 5' , get 6"

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 42 points 2 days ago (17 children)

Assuming a qwerty keyboard, this didn't happen

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 95 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

could have happened on a canadian french qwerty keyboard: ! is shift-1, and " is shift-2

Picture of a canadian french QWERTY keyboard, centered on the 1 and 2 keys. The 1 key as the exclamation mark above the 1, and the 2 key has the quotation mark above the 2.

this could have happened on other layouts too, probably

[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 40 points 2 days ago (1 children)

German qwertz is the same in that regard

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Wait till you see AZERTY (French) They need to use ZQSD for gaming lmao

[–] RobotFK@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

A fate fitting for being fr*nch /s

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Im not french and we still use this piece of shit. Thanks belgium.

Also, us/international qwerty isnt that great either imo. Uk qwerty is better

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh god what horror that layout is

you need shift to type numbers????

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yes, because in french you need the special characters more often than numbers

[–] carotte@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

no, I don’t think we need & more often than we need 1

and for accents, the canadian french qwerty keyboard handles them just fine; é (by far the most common accented letter) has its own key, all the other use dedicated dead keys. it works well!

and you can write accented uppercase letters using the CF qwerty, on azerty you need a combination with AltGr for that (because using just shift types the numbers…)

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 2 points 11 hours ago

Oh im not saying its perfect or any good, just saying what the logic was :p

I personally use both azerty and qwerty lol

[–] LwL@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

It's great in mobas where skills are universally referred to by their default binding on qwerty (since most layouts have qwer on those keys). So sometimes unaware french people talk about their a and z skills and everyone else is just confused

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also in Dvorak “ is below !

[–] trash@leminal.space 3 points 1 day ago

As a Dvorak typist, I have done this.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 6 points 2 days ago

Cyrillic too

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 32 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It may have not been a typo in the sense they hit the wrong key attempting to type an exclamation point, but a Freudian slip of their mind while typing that caused them to type the quotation mark.

Like if you were to look at Venus and want to say "Venus is bright tonight" but instead say "My penis is pretty big." It's a really common mistake.

[–] sicarius@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago (2 children)

UK keyboards have the " and the @ symbols reversed from the US layout.
And we mix and match our units of measurement. So
milk = liters.
Beer = pints.
Distance = miles (if driving).
Distance = km if running or cycling.
Distance = inches if penis

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[–] tomi000@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (3 children)

On a German keyboard, I think ! Is Shift-1 and " is Shift-2, but we measure in cm so the message wouldnt make sense

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[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Eh? On my keyboard " and ! are next to each other.

[–] toddestan@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

It works out for Dvorak.

[–] HK65@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 days ago

Depends on the layout. My QWERTZ has ! on shift-4 and " on shift-2.

Lots of bilingual peeps have multiple layouts on hot-swap.

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[–] frankenswine@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] jws_shadotak@sh.itjust.works 34 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] AlpacaChariot@lemmy.world 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes but only for 6 seconds

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

" also means seconds. 1h23m45s = 1h23’45”. Same for subdivisions of degrees, 12°34'56"N, which are actually also called minutes and seconds.

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[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

At the equator, that's like 600 feet.

[–] Kazumara@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 days ago

6 arc seconds, not a very well rounded individual

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