We would share comfortable silences and not feel the need to talk at all.
this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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Yeah, this literally is how it works, like to a T.
I think the point is more to filter out people quickly who you couldn't be in a sustainable relationship with anyways.
I don't mind it as much as i used to anymore. But ten years ago, i consistently associated "small-talk" people with people who were superficial and wouldn't comprehend important issues should they ever come up anyways.
Also i'm not sure how right i was about that.
You need a bit balance of everything. I used to be snooty about small-talk. Eventually I started noticing that the most personable people, who make someone new feel welcome, included, and who make you feel like you're noticed and worth remembering through recalling basic personal details--these people have excellent small-talk skills.
I think part of why small-talk often feels pointless is because people don't enter into it intentionally, with purpose. If you go into it with purpose, like creating a good social experience for others, or building/maintaining 2nd/3rd order social connections in a humanizing way, it feels a lot different. Like anything, it's still exhausting after a certain amount.
I mean yeah kind of. I like having these kinds of conversations far more than boilerplate smalltalk.
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I don't think it matters.
I honestly don't think it's a meaningful question.
But that would be great! Let's start an awesome exploration of a very existential topic. Certainly better and more interesting that talking about shopping.
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My speech is deep. My beard is neck.
I think everyone needs to recalibrate what 'small talk' is.
Some people are acting so opposed to small talk, as if it requires writing an essay on why you love a list of pop culture influencers and reality stars.
I hate talking small. I'm not good at it. It's one of the reasons I have a limited number of profound friendships rather than being liked by everybody. I'm an introvert. I'm ok with that. My partner can chat when we see each other after work because when we're talking about the kitties doing something cute or what we wanna have for dinner that's not small talk. That's talking about things with very low impact or consequences.
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Yes.
Kinda just hoping they love me for who I am and not some forced version of myself that makes me feel like a complete ass.
The couples that argue all the time, they hate smalltalk. Just tell him to bring out the trash.
No small talk only big talk
My partner and I have surprisingly little in common when it comes to interests. I like a lot of nerd stuff: homelab, 3d printing, robotics, brewing, welding, woodworking, sci-fi, etc. They like not nerd stuff: copaganda shows, murder porn (podcasts and documentaries), dog training, cooking, etc. I like metal, they like jangly indie, we both like punk. We both really love cats.
We also both hate small talk, so we only discuss what we find to be pertinent or interesting. Since we have a lot of individual interests, we actually have a lot to talk about. We just had a really great conversation on using Docker or a VM to circumvent some silly online testing issues. Otherwise, it's just comfortable silence. I really love them.