No Stupid Questions

Like riding a bike. If you've never done it it's going to be hard but give it a few hours of deliberate practice you'll be fine.

And again like with a bike you should probably practice away from traffic to begin with..

I've found the hardest part is suddenly having any health issue with major extremities. Broke your finger? Crucial. Broke your leg or foot? Crucial. Having 2 functioning legs and 2 functioning hands is ideal.

Learning to drive a stick is really easy if you have somebody to teach you well, but waaay too many people are like, "here, keep fucking up until the car doesn't go anymore or you figure it out, whichever comes first".

Hardest part is getting the car to start moving from stopped. Changing gears once moving, you can fuck it up a bunch and nothing much happens except funny engine noises and the owner starts making constipated-looking facial expressions. But if you fuck up starting from stopped, then you lurch around a bunch, stall the engine, and don't go anywhere.

To get started from stopped, without horrible lurches or stalls, do like this FROM A FLAT PLACE -- don't try anything with hills until you can make the car go on the flat first:

0. IMPORTANT: adjust your seat so you can easily push the clutch (left pedal) in -- all the way to the floor -- without uncomfortable stretching

1. In your driveway when there's nobody going to honk at you, start the car, put it in neutral, and practice pushing the gas pedal just enough to hold the engine at 3000 RPM or so. Not making crazy racing noises, just a nice steady "the engine is running normal-fast-ish" and hold it that way. Practice a couple times until your foot and your ear know what it feels like

2. Put it in gear without moving -- gas off, clutch in and put the car in first gear.

3. Gas on, steady at 3000 RPM, slooooooowly let the clutch out until you can just barely feel the clutch is engaged. Engine revs down a little bit, car starts crawling forward. Practice that a couple times, just let the clutch out until it barely starts doing anything, then put it back in, until your foot knows what it feels like.

4. Now do it again, engine held at steady revs, clutch out until just barely engaged, then let the clutch out just a little bit more, so the car wants to crawl, and hold the clutch there. Car starts crawling. Keep the engine steady like you've been, let the car start crawling, don't even change anything, just let the car crawl. It will slowly accelerate until you're moving at some steady 1st-gear speed. Once it's come up to (slow) speed you can let the clutch out the rest of the way.

5. Congratulations you moved a car

No more difficult than using a phone while walking, except looking around while doing it is even more important. I've taught several people how to drive a manual transmission in an afternoon. Different afternoons of course.

It's quite hard for someone who haven't done it before. It'll take months if not years of daily driving for you to get good enough that you don't need to constantly think about it. There's differences between vehicles too, especially with how the clutch feels. I've been driving manual for over 15 years and if I jump into a unfamiliar car it'll take me a while to get the handle of it as well.

It's really hard, I tried for a while and gave up. Way too many things to pay attention to and get right at once, while doing something dangerous.

Take the lesson. While learning, stay off of hills and any upward incline until you got a feel from taking the car from full stop to going in 1at gear.

While learning you will stall the car.... Don't let it bother you.

The trickiest part is learning how to ease the clutch while applying gas to go from full stop to motion forward.

Remember neutral when coming to a stop.

Manuals are great, it's built in theft protection from like 95 % of people

I took my driving lessons with a manual, but have been driving automatic for over a decade now.
Whenever I do need to drive a manual, I usually need a while to get used to it again. At those moments I make use of the guidelines that were taught to me by my driving instructor:

1. Is for getting the car going and getting in or out of a parking spot.
2. Is for speeds up to 25 km/h
3. Is for speeds up to 45 km/h
4. Is for speeds up to 75 km/h
5. Is for anything beyond

It’s a simple helper that matches most of the common speed zones in the Netherlands (30, 50, 80). From what I can quickly read, the 80 zone is 90 in Romania, so it should still work?

Anyway, don’t worry too much. It is also nice not having to drive at all if it comes down to that, your boyfriend’s family sounds nice :)
Enjoy your trip!

Visit a AAA location and get an “international drivers permit”. It’s super easy and a good insurance policy for yourself. I highly doubt the police speak much English and aren’t corrupt, so it may save headaches. Also, watch out on neighborhood streets for potholes.

The basics are easy - half an hour with someone who knows what they"re doing should be all you need to get out and about. Getting to the point where it's instinctual and you don't have to think about shifting is probably beyond the limits of a short trip but depending on how much driving you do you can be fairly smooth within a few days.

The main risk you run with learning manual is that once you get the hang of it it spoils automatics for you - you might end up having to buy yourself a manual car to avoid being annoyed by the missteps autos tend to do.

otherwise, I can rent an automatic.

You want to double check whether you actually can do that.

Automatics are actually rare there. The kind of rare that turns heads and raises eyebrows.

The clutch biting point is the main trick - particularly on a hill start. In an automatic you can hear the gear shifts so that’s your timing.

I had almost no driving experience. And I learnt driving a manual in 10 lessons (30 min each). So depending on how much time you have, you can think about learning. Do mind that it will be frustrating initially.

Driving a manual is pretty easy, but it depends on how you handle failure. The learning process requires making a few mistakes while you become familiar with a clutch and shifting gears.

Also, I think it's much easier to learn if you know what the parts are doing. Watch some videos on how it all works and what different RPMs sound like.

Manuls aren't super hard, but there's definitely a learning curve you can't avoid. Since you'll be in a new country you'll have enough going on and don't want to add to any stress, I would really recommend renting an automatic.

It's not toooooo hard. But you will need a good little bit to get the feel for it.

And I don't know how hilly Romania is but the first time your stall out on an incline you will feel embarrassed and likely honked at. And it will be all the harder to recover cause now you're stressed about it.

It's like riding a bike. My wife was resistant to stick shift... Then her dad got her a used car that was manual. Almost 20 years later it's all we've owned.

It seems difficult at first, until it's second nature. And I still make little mistakes here or there like staying in a gear for to long. But once you learn it, it's super easy.

Like others said, it's all a dance between pulling out the clutch portal and feeding fuel. I suggest learning exactly where the clutch begins to grip. Once you know where they spot is, it's much easier to feel how to drive.

Best of luck!

No, but I've never driven an automatic

It's easy tbh.

There's a learning curve, but if you can walk while pulling something out of your pocket, you meet the minimum coordination test.

If you have a tachometer, it's a little easier to learn when to shift, but it isn't necessary at all, just a nicety.

No bullshit, I learned in a day, and was able to drive without grinding gears in maybe a week. Taught many people over the decades since. A day of practice that includes hills is all it takes to get the basics down.

When you first drive a different car, it may take a few miles to get a feel for the clutch and shifter throw, but that's about it.

It seems way harder than it actually is, assuming you have full limb mobility. If you don't, it can be a good bit harder.

When you first try it, just remember to get the clutch pedal all the way in before shifting, and you won't have trouble in that regard. Letting the clutch out in sync with the gas is where coordination comes in, so test any new vehicle in an empty parking lot or other open space that's flat, so you can get a feel for that safely. Once you have that feel, it's easy peasy again.

At this point, I don't even pay attention to shifting. It just happens without thinking about it as the vibration reaches the right level.

Hell, in my old car, I had taught dozens of people how to drive stick, and it got to 200k miles with the original clutch in it. That's how easy it can be to learn.

Driving manual is not particularly complicated, but it will require you to focus a lot of attention on it at first. Since you also have to cope with with differences in driving regulations, this will put you and your passengers more at risk than necessary.

It takes time (~tens of hours) to build the muscle memory so that it becomes natural. For a vacation in the short term, you should go ahead with your plan to rent an automatic.

Well not to be an ass, but why would you drive yourself around? I have the feeling your boyfriend and his family wouldn't mind driving you around for a bit. And in Europe you don't generally need a car to get around.

Anyways. Driving manual is not too hard. Just don't let the stalls bother you. Other drivers don't really mind either if you stall and waste a bit of time, so just relax. And to be honest; I would actually take the chance to learn it while you can if I were you. Seems like you have a good opportunity here.

Are you sure you will be allowed to drive a manual car in Romania with your American license if you didn't take the test with a manual car? I live in a different European country and here if you take the test with an automatic car, you are only allowed to drive automatic cars. You should research this.

It's definitely different from an automatic car and requires more concentration. Once you get used to it, it's not difficult. I was older than you are now when I learned to drive at all (which I did on a manual car) and managed it anyway.

It would be a chore to learn while visiting. Just have your boyfriend drive you around and maybe rent a car for a longer trip.

I personally find it stressful driving in foreign countries.

Its not hard to learn but it does take time to become confortable with it. I recommend renting a car. Driving manual car for the first time with the added stress of driving in a different county is a recipe for disaster. By all means try it. Take up the offer of that lesson, but its unwise to have to rely on a manual car for transport when you've never driven one before.

But also make sure you actually need a car. The US is built with fully car dependent infrastructure, so americans are taught their whole lives to just assume they always need a car. That isn't the case everywhere, and might not be where you're going. Be sure to check.