Anecdote time?
Anecdote time.
My homie, Spider, is a tiny dude. Also has severe spinal issues, but the details don't matter and aren't mine to tell. What is relevant is that he can't put on mass, be it muscle or fat. When he has, the effects were far worse than any benefits because of his medical status and the way his body is shaped.
So, this skinny dude with a messed up back is always the smaller person in his relationships. Doesn't matter whether he's seeing a cis woman or trans woman, he's small enough, and likes his women tall enough, that it just isn't happening.
And he's had to deal with the exact kind of malarkey this post mentions. Questions about his masculinity, jerks implying they'd be a better partner by way of being bigger, etc.
What makes him laugh, and what I find funny as hell, is that the guy is charismatic as hell, so he has never been without a partner if he didn't want to be. He's a weird asshole, but he's the good kind of weird asshole, if you get me. He draws people to him, and women in particular respond to him very well. Which, sometimes means men object to him on those grounds alone, but it's still hilarious that they never seem to realize that if he's getting that attention right then and there that he's getting the same attention at other times and places too.
They get so wrapped up in their ego, they never stop to think, "gee, that's a homely, scrawny disabled guy, and he's got women all over him, maybe I should pick up some tips".
Spider's brand of masculinity is so far outside of what men think they're supposed to be, that they feel lessened by him succeeding at the metrics they think are important, without having to follow their rules. Meanwhile, he's living his best life and just does not care about machismo. He's all "I can't be something I'm not, and what I am is good enough for my girlfriends and friends."
And that is why Spider is my homie, even when he gets me in fights and whips his dick out any time he abuses it so I can tell him if he needs a doctor or not.