this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Science Memes

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[–] Triasha@lemmy.world 31 points 22 hours ago

Not in stem but the same thing happened to me. I used to be able to speak to a room and be heard. Now I need to raise my voice, sound a little whiney or bitchy or nobody hears me. Only my closest friend still asks me for advice or to share my knowledge. Used to happen all the time.

At least I pass. I got that going for me.

[–] undeadotter@sopuli.xyz 201 points 1 day ago (9 children)

The experiences trans men and women have with misogyny will never not be fascinating to me. Like, for the first time ever we have this huge sample size of people who have experienced how their gender presentation affects how people interact with them, giving tangible proof of misogyny in action. And it can't just be swept aside with 'MaYbE tHe wOmEn JuSt miSuNDerStOoD' or 'mAYbe tHe mAN diDN't MeAn iT LiKE tHaT'. I mean idiots will still make idiot arguments but at least it chips away at them a little bit.

[–] OccultIconoclast@reddthat.com 19 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

I'm female presenting. I've known people who thought I was a cis woman for months, and I don't keep being nonbinary or trans a secret.

When I read actual cis women's accounts of misogyny, and also trans women's accounts, I can't relate. I don't get shut down the same way. Somehow, despite others perceiving me as female, I kept the tiny part of gender presentation that tells people to sit down and shut up when I'm talking as if I were a man. I don't understand what it is, but I still have it the same as before I transitioned.

I would love to know what it is so I can share it, but I can't tell why people respect me as much as they would respect a man. It's bewildering.

[–] insaneinthemembrane@lemmy.world 12 points 20 hours ago

You could be lucky too or maybe you don't notice the microaggressions.

[–] ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 20 hours ago

Confidence goes a long way, but maybe that is simplifying the experience too much.

[–] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip 90 points 1 day ago

Hello it's me a trans woman. I knew before transition about some of it but never really understood. When I was masc I didn't realize how much of it was basically hidden in plain sight because of how I learned to socialize. After transitioning though omg it's everywhere. I'm in Seattle right now where I don't have to try too hard to pass and still get treated at least base line okay. Even then I still use my masc voice more than my femme voice because people take me more seriously when I do. Like there's a cultural acceptance of trans people here but if I behave more masc I get the privilege of being "one of the boys" even if I'm visually in full femme mode. It's all so weird

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 66 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I told one of my friends that I'm being looked at differently in crowds now, and he just said "no you're imagining it".

Many people just do not believe what trans people tell them. At all.

[–] barsoap@lemm.ee 8 points 17 hours ago

In that specific case it might've been an answer to "Do you look at me differently now", brains like to short-circuit like that, and not everybody is comfortable speaking for the tribe. "Does the tribe like me?" -- "Well I do" -- "Does the tribe?" -- "I'm not the tribe".

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[–] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)

here's a related video from Angela Collier, if you want to read more about how women are treated in STEM

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[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 98 points 1 day ago (2 children)

wow, that's really out there for being bee movie erotica

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[–] Ledericas@lemm.ee 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Stem is still heavily dominated by Men, biology might be different as more woman are in bio than men are, and becoming more common in other stems. engineer and programming sitll gear towards men.

[–] Kamsaa@lemmy.world 39 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

I was actually joining the chat to write that things are not that different in biology. I have a PhD and 7 years of postdocs behind me. Over the years I have :

  • been denied a management position because "the team was only men, who wouldn't listen to me" (spoiler alert, they put an incompetent guy in charge who screwed up massively and I ended up taking over, successfully).
  • had a boss who systematically doubted my opinion (while he was not a specialist of the topic) but listened to the very same argument from a male colleague
  • had male Masters students who could speak uninterrupted during meetings when I couldn't
  • got denied a tenure position for a guy with the same profile (literally the same topic and same labs) but much less experience than mine (like 5 years younger) This last one broke me, I ended up quitting academia
[–] Danquebec@sh.itjust.works 9 points 18 hours ago

Patriarchy is not only cruel towards women, it's also dumb. It's like corruption. We're hurting ourselves, all of society, including men, by not giving the fitting positions and proper compensation and recognition to people who merit them.

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