This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
Because these are good questions, I'll answer some;
Physically weak
Humans are incredible long distance runners. We did a lot of hunting by "Chase it until it collapses"
9 months/15 years
Our brains take a loooooong time to mature, but it's worth it. We can plan ahead without relying on survival instincts, and we keep making amazing discoveries like fire and clothes
We're basically horror movie tropes
I miss r/HFY
And while dogs have been bred to be subservient, Cats CHOSE to associate with us, the little psychos.
Great long distance walkers too. With some adaptation time, about anyone can walk about 30 km a day, for weeks. For proof, the tens of thousands of people of all fitness levels walking the Camino de Santiago de Compostela pilgrimage every year.
Proud to say I accomplished that! My dad trained a fair bit. I did like 1 10km walk the week before we started, and I finished the 800kms with no real dramas, except the first day which was a massive climb. After 5-6 days my body was totally accustomed to the task at hand.
(Super irrelevant to the post but it was an awesome experience and I would advocate anyone to undertake it, regardless of your thoughts on religion. I am not religious but did find it spiritual in a way. I did it about 6 years ago and still think about it every week.)
Started with Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port to Roncesvalles? Yeah, it's a bit silly to start with the biggest climb of the way, but I know many people do to start from France.
and evolution isnt supposed to be perfect. we were not carefully designed.
Weren't designed at all in in fact.
>developes precise eyes
>doesn't know where to put the blood vessels
>"fuck it, we'll put them in front of the receptors"
>blood vessels always visible
>"we'll fix it in post"
>actually works out
>MFW they have to add a blind spot for vessel/nerve management
You mean running the wires in front of the screen isn't the best design??
Flexing on those other loser species with my opposable thumbs and ability throw stones
Which, incidentally is about as much intelligence as it takes to "make a difference". Anon is here assuming you need an engineering degree to outsurvive a moose, when all it takes is "hey, if put bad potato underground many good potato come up later".
You make it sound like discovering agriculture is child's play. It probably was the brightest minds of the day who figured stuff like that out. It was revolutionary. The entire society had to be redesigned around growing enough good potato to get through a winter.
the funny thing behind agriculture, is that the vast majority of modern foods we eat are selectively bred over the entire course of agrarian history.
Most of these grown foods today, simply didn't exist.
THAT was the the true genius.
opposable thumbs to throw stones, big brain to throw shade
Also, this whole sweating system is actually very efficient water based cooling. Most land species don't have anything that's even close.
We spec'd for stamina, which turned out to be a hard counter to the current meta. We also have a flexible diet, fine motor control, excellent heat regulation, intricate vocalizations, and arguably best-in-class intelligence (although neanderthals did have larger brains, and other apes have better working memory).
But we are suffering from our success really. We were able to dominate even with an unoptimized build. So we have things like an appendix and other vestigial structures. Our spines are serviceable for bipedalism but are prone to developing issues and stress points. And our teeth don't last nearly as long as much of the rest of our body without frequent external maintenance. And our young take a very long time to develop, to the point the actual birth happens basically as late as possible without being a guaranteed death sentence for the mother rather than when the child is ready for the world. Also, humans have a tremendously high ratio of penis to total body mass among primates, making you wonder what kind of freak was behind our character creation.
I'm pretty sure I read somewhere the appendix actually functions as backup storage for gut microbes.
...mother fucker... we were built buy a fucking neckbeard incel...weren't we?
That's actually a very accurate description of the Christian God
Once you see that evolution is like the laziest worker ever that wants to do nothing all day but needs the money, and natural selection as the boss that doesn't give a shit and just gives him tasks and only cares if they are done. You will understand why things are the way they are.
"Why is the mop so moldy and disgusting?" Well because natural selection told evolution to mop the floors every day but never said to clean the mop, and the cleaning products are good enough to clean even when the mop is moldy, so there is no need to care about the moldiness of the mop.
Why did you mind go to moldy mops?
Bad experience?
Idk, just a good example since the mold can be thought of as mutations that are not wanted but don't interfere with the survival of the species.
Amon is under the impression that humans are designed, so they're not in the smarter half of humanity
Female specimen bleeds once a month and is plagued by hormonal fuckery that makes life unbearable at times. Emotional regulation: hahaha fuck you. Physical discomfort: yessir. Terrible pain from cramps, hormonal migraines and other such hormone related pains: amazing. Acne, oily hair, skin, smelly sweat and bloatedness when hormones go brrrrr: cool.
Vag-hole too small to squeeze out baby head and will often rip open. If unlucky, female specimen will bleed to death after giving birth, leaving baby without protection and food source. Female specimen only has a very small window to procreate and is most fertile when her brain is the least developed post puberty. When her brain is finally catching up in maturity, her body is starting to regress in fertility and getting pregnant is now a risk to her and the baby. Is somehow blamed and often punished for her biology literally fucking with her from the age of 9 to menopause.
I would fucking love if my biggest problem was that my reproductive organs were dangling between my legs and got a bit hot once in awhile.
I would fucking love if my biggest problem was that my reproductive organs were dangling between my legs and got a bit hot once in awhile.
i mean, men are historically pre-disposed to dying earlier than women. Though i wonder if that actually changes at all going back historically, so at least you have that?
Omits that critical oxygen intake system overlaps with food intake system that can clog causing death. No redundancy on oxygen intake.
Lots of evidence for not-so-intelligent design.
evolution would just call you a bozo and say it's a skill issue. So maybe it was intentional, because it would be funny.
There's a lot of good, but the devs def screwed up with the whole shared breathing / eating tubing. But at least the playing ground is partially even, with other species also at risk of randomly dying from the simple act of food intake.
The most screwed up one is the octopus, for some reason that brains are below their mouths so the esophagus goes through their brain. If they eat something too big they can give themselves a concussion.
That sounds so stupid, I absolutely believe it.
That's a very British documentary as well isn't it.
Lets just get a dead giraffe and cut it open in order to demonstrate something
That would never happen in the US there'd be too many complaints.
What a great argument against intelligent design and a resounding endorsement of Evolutionary Theory.
Because it doesn't select smarts, but adaptations, people tend to forget that for nature consciousness or smarts are just one more trait
Doesn't have to be good, just has to be good enough
Humans are great. We're also shit about some things. We're working on it. It remains to be seen whether we'll get our stuff together before we wreck the planet thoroughly enough that it can't support us in this current paradise mode, but it's not because we are incapable. Our failures are failures of spirit, self-government and self-control, and good values, not failures of "fitness" or that this layout hasn't been successful at getting us this far.
Technology my dudes 🤙 if you remove our understanding of electricity and fire we go back to the stone age in less than a year.