this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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Everyone supports "mental health" until they actually get called on to do it. I lived with nominally supportive housemates in college who would say "mental health is important! Believe in yourself!" Then when I started falling apart in my final year they got grossed out. They didn't want anything to do with me. Why invite the depressed person to anything? They're just gonna end up miserable. Talking about depression is gross and yucky, eww, uncomfortable, go to therapy, that's your fault. So they just ended up excluding me from everything they did because it was easier for them.
cw suicide
It took a suicide attempt for them to even ask me if I was doing okay, after a year of my being vocally and visibly depressed.It sucks finding out that good people can be bad friends. Yes, it would have been uncomfortable and difficult for them to help me. It would have taken some work. But they turned out to be the kind of friends who only like you when you're fun and smiling.
Obviously my depression made things harder for them. It made things harder for everyone. That's why I needed their help, and they didn't give it to me
I really think that almost everyone is like this. It was the same for me when I got cancer. At first people were shocked and sympathetic but as time wore on and my condition worsened, everyone abandoned me.
for real. i guess it's the liberal thing about pretending to care about an issue so you look good? idk. also if you dont recover fast enough they get mad at you, lmao
Yep. I had to quit working and drop out of my studies when I became too ill to continue and people were weirdly angry and judgmental about it. I got comments like "So when are you going back to school? Why don't you sign up to restart this coming term? When are you going back to work? You're not back working yet?" And I'm like "What? I'm having cancer treatment, I'm so unwell I keep falling asleep in the middle of the day, I can't concentrate, I have no energy and I'm having terrible side effects like heart issues and all kinds of other crap, I have non-stop medical appointments and fuckers are complaining that I'm not doing anything right now? As if fighting cancer is just not doing anything.
And the comments for being on benefits. Endless comments about how I'm getting "free money," and "You don't do anything to earn that, you don't deserve it. Lucky you, some of us have to work for our money."
dealing with benefits shit has been way more work than my previous bullshit job lmao, ppl r so stupid and annoying
Absolutely. Working a full time job was easier and less stressful than this.
The bootstrap mentality is omnipresent. You're on the ground, managed once to ask for help, and if you don't get up immediately, they leave you there.
And even if they don't think you're supposed to pull yourself up, they have so much learned helplessness with regards to actually helping that they watch on without doing anything. It's frustrating to no end