this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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Gotta say, this looks like a recipe for hamstringing yourself. Be confident. Be respectful. Accept that you'll get rejected, sometimes harshly, and that you just have to get back out and try again.
Like, seriously, you shouldnt introduce yourself to a woman at a party who is having a drink? I know we're on Lemmy, but that's still a pretty autistic take on human social interactions.
Did you even read what it wrote? Nowhere do i say that.
If you only strike conversations with people at a party with the intent of getting into their pants, you will not be invited to many parties. If you hold a conversation and then start to like each other, asking for a date is something different.
Sorry, I should have also added: don't be autistic.
Yeah, have other conversations. Meet people. Have a good time at a party. And then when you see someone hot, say hi and flirt with them, and then go by vibe and see if they wanna jump in the sack with you.
You said "no alcohol or drugs". You're aware that a shit ton of relationships start in bars, clubs, house parties, music festivals, etc? You just explicitly excluded one of the most common scenarios where people do their mating dances.
My experience is that such relationships usually end badly and quickly. Also sleeping around is not curing being an "incel". It is just masking the insecurity, lack of maturity and lack of responsible behavior.
However if you meet at a bar and decide to meet for a date later, having alcohol or drugs involved in that date also is a huge red flag. That means the person doing drugs has issues with their emotional regulation. Also especially for women doing drugs with some relatively unknown men is increasing the risk of being date-raped.
If you aren't a creep, don't do creepy shit. Involving alcohol and other drugs definitely is worse for everyone involved than being sober.
Okay, you are seriously terminally online. "Let's grab a drink" is a classic first date. I can go to literally dozens of bars tonight and see tons of people out on first dates over a reasonable amount of alcohol. Like, Jesus fucking Christ you're off the deep end if you think this constitutes creepy behavior.