this post was submitted on 06 Jun 2025
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The truth:
Group A: Many women have experienced mistreatment, and have been in some pretty one-sided relationships.
Group B: Many women perpetuate gender norms, and use them as an excuse to mistreat others.
Group C: Many men like you have experienced mistreatment, and been in some pretty one-sided relationships.
Group D: Many men perpetuate gender norms, and use them as an excuse to mistreat others.
Not all of these people are directly talking to each other, they're talking to the whole world. These groups are not mutually exclusive, there's a lot of overlap.
You can be in group C but not in Group D. Many men are in both. You can be in group A but not in group B. Many women are both.
You are getting angry at all of group A, because they are complaining about group D, because it makes you feel like they're talking to you. Many of them can also be in group B, which muddies the waters.
I'm sorry if you've lived through mistreatment. It's understandable to be angry about that. But try not to be angry at women who have also lived through mistreatment, just because other women have mistreated you.
They have the same challenge and responsibility - to try not to be angry at you, just because other men have mistreated them. Not all of them succeed. Not all men succeed.
It's hard out here.