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dudette, I think
Is dude not back to being gender neutral again? What are we going with?
Would you have sex with a dude? If yes then it's fine
That's one hell of a standard
Why? If dude is gender neutral, then you should be comfortable using the phrase "I'd have sex with that dude".
I'd say it's a expression that does have gender associations, but it's not offensive or anything to call a woman dude in the right context. If anything it is usually used as a gesture of camaraderie, in this case because a woman has suffered in a way that men can understand.
I get what you're saying. But what you're saying could also be interpreted as "you've suffered in a way we understand, so you're not a woman anymore, you're better, you're one of the men."
It's also like a guy being called "one of the gals" by the gals. That's not welcomed by most men, even if it's well meant. I don't want to be one of the gals. I want to be a guy and accepted.
So I just don't use "dudes". I use folks. Same concept, infinitely less ambiguity. Words are great like that. You always have options.
now that you say, I'm not sure anymore
Can be agender, can be a gender.
Fuck dudes, hanging with the dudes, ".... Duude...", "sex with dudes"
Same with bro or man. Also, progressively, defaults shouldn't be masculine and people shouldn't push that narrative.
Like, "I like having sex with multiple dudes at the same time", but, also, my gf is not a dude, dude.
But ALSO to complicate things further, sometimes chicks ARE dudes or bros just because they want to be and that's okay. And the more you think about that sentence the more your brain will hurt.
I dunno. Just... Don't be a dickhead and respect people, and it's probably fine. "Gotta know the rules before you break the rules."
I think it might be dependent on context, unfortunately/confusingly.