*latest thaad
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hoist by foucault's petard
don't worry, neither have i! 
wag the dog/air bud/manchurian candidate mashup is cinema gold. i'll let you run with it since it's your idea, but i'm going to pitch it if you don't want to.
the tow truck fell off, too, so it's going to be difficult for our elite news team to follow up on the reports
i'm sure if the parliamentarian weren't such an obstinate bastard, they could come up with some creative way to revise it so that trump can't whipsaw tariffs via twitter decree while maintaining the ability to impose sanctions.
but alas 
yeah he's declaring use of the international emergency economic powers act of 1977, so theoretically a congressional resolution can just put a stop to it and say the emergency is over or they've decided to revoke their delegation of authority. apparently trump is the first to use this act to impose tariffs, so the senate parliamentarian was caught completely off guard and has to dig through decades of legal documents before anything like that could happen.
cnn headline leaving out the best bit.
yemeni armed forces assisted comrade ocean in this one:
A US official said that initial reports from the scene indicated that the Truman made a hard turn to evade Houthi fire, which contributed to the fighter jet falling overboard. The Houthi rebel group claimed on Monday to have launched a drone and missile attack on the aircraft carrier, which is in the Red Sea as part of the US military’s major anti-Houthi operation.
it's hard to tell with the mask
hourly minimum wage is 10 to 25 rmb depending on province in 2021 according to natopedia
low alcohol beers were often brewed and consumed throughout history before modern plumbing and sanitation made clean water widely and readily available, and sugary flavored soda water became popular
that's where i shamelessly stole the joke, yes