They pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. They took their owl fuckin' feathery cloaca out and they pissed on my FUCKING wife, and they said their beak was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Hexbear.com. Dirt_Owl, you got a small beak. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. 
And guess what? Here's what my beak looks like.
That's right, baby. Tall points, no feathers, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. They fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get!
style coin toss. 
I used to do all my work before 10:00 PM on the night shift and then read in between customers at my local gas station. Got chewed out and then decided to do everything slower while taking 5 minute breaks to "restock" the drinks. Overall, I still got my reading and I did less work.
Dipshit manager then says he was proud of me for doing more work. Work culture is entirely vibe based and has literally nothing to do with actual productivity.