this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 38 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Item in grocery store doesn't scan.

That means it's free!

[–] wetnoodle@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

Every time I hear this one I wanna break the product in half and walk away😭

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

why do people say this?

I can only imagine they have the most repetitive, robotic lives.

[–] bigboismith@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Working hard or hardly working?

[–] qwrty@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Are ya a smart fella, of a fart smella?

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

More of a fart fella

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What.... I like that one. Sorry.

[–] Linuto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Just make sure you find and stick close to the other people at your job who think it's funny.

[–] llamapocalypse@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

"Watching porn at work, so both."

[–] essellburns@beehaw.org 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Talking about any ear or hearing trouble and someone replies "pardon?"

🀦🀬

[–] DudeBro@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I do this, but I like to respond with a loud and sudden "WHAT" which is probably less funny and more obnoxious but it usually gets a laugh

[–] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone who's been hearing impaired my whole life, yes. The urge to punch the person in the face right at that moment sometimes seems irresistible.

[–] essellburns@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'd like to believe I'd still have that reaction to this "joke" even if my hearing was fine, still I do agree with you that it's really extra infuriating when explaining a genuine hearing issue

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Three moles were digging a tunnel. One of the moles farts. The next mole says, "smells like rutabagas". The next mole says, "smells like carrots".

After a long pause, the first mole turns to the last mole that has not spoken yet and asks what they smell.

The last mole says "molasses" and gets back to digging.

[–] Bizarroland@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago

I read this joke when I was maybe 13 and I never understood it. More than a decade later I was randomly driving around and I remembered this joke and got it.

[–] ReCursing@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

I have been unfortunate enough to hear various racist and/or homophobic jokes over the years, so probably one of them

[–] GreyShuck@feddit.uk 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

To a colleague arriving 10 mins late: "Afternoon."

To a colleague arriving 10 mins early: "Shat the bed?"

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

I feel like if I shat the bed, I'd be late instead of early.

[–] mannycalavera@feddit.uk 5 points 1 year ago

Agreed πŸ’―, this is not amusing.

[–] LadyLikesSpiders@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

As someone who works the later shifts, it took me a while to figure out what was wrong with "afternoon". It's been so long since someone has said good morning to me at work

[–] TotallyHuman@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago

Maybe just because we don't understand it, but the ancient Sumerian bar joke:

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one.'

[–] showmustgo@hexbear.net 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The "I have a [topic] joke, but [topical reason why it wouldn't land or you wouldn't get it]" template

[–] Scheisser@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

A man went to a shop and they had a shovel.

[–] bobbyfiend@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

It's a toss-up between Elon Musk and people saying "WHAT?!" when I tell them I'm hearing impaired.

[–] snowe@programming.dev 1 points 1 year ago

The β€œwe are not the same” meme. I understand the point, it’s just not funny. It’s cringey as hell.