2 hours later, anon vomits up poopy water.
this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2025
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why did you comment this
Cause South park taught us that's how it works.
You made a conscious choice to post this comment.
What a terrible day to have eyes.
You think that ruined your day? I had LASIK - I paid to read that more clearly.
I wear glasses, so I also paid to read it more clearly. Arguably a fraction of what you paid, but the principle remains.
Glasses require replacements, I'm actually curious now whether I've paid more than LASIK over my lifetime...
My LASIK (SMARTSurface, but similar enough) cost 1000 euros and my glasses used to cost 350 and I would replace them every three years. My procedure should pay off in 9 years and I am 4 years on the way there.
after that, anon's insides will be cleaner than the outside (4channers don't shower)
The colon is literally designed to reabsorb water left in the stool from digestive processes so he legit probably just drank it
Enemas usually include things like glycerin that stop this and force the bowels to evacuate
it fucked his gut biome though, that much water coming in pressurised and without treatment is fucked
Wait, does this mean bidet usage straight up destroys your gut biome over time?!
If the bidet is pushing the water into your colon you either need to use lower pressure or do some butthole exercises to seal that fucker up.
...how high are you setting the pressure on that thing?
Pressure washer, get it right up in there to clean it out.
My experience with pressure washers has always been splattery. I would not voluntarily choose a splattery bidet experience.
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No, it hits the surface, it won't reach your guts, you would need the nozzle stuck up your ass for that
Where do you put the nozzle?
Not sure if we are mixing bidets with anal douching here? A bidet is not intended for internal use.
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I'm curious if this could lead to water poisoning, but I'm unsure what search prompt to use nor unwilling to commit that to my search history.
Water intoxication
We can also breathe through our butts. Nothing new here. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2024/sep/12/ig-nobel-prize-goes-to-team-who-found-mammals-can-breathe-through-anuses
Me 5 minutes ago: Oh god. No, I should not click that link. I'm definitely going to regret clicking that link if I do. I for sure am not going to... dammit I clicked the link.
Me now: Ok, that's pretty smart, actually.
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If the Human Body would crumble from childish injuries like this we wouldn't have been destined to rule over Mother Earth
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Interesting, I didn't know I could drink water anally. I kinda want to for fetish reasons now
This is actually a survival technique if you have water than may not be quite potable to drink, you can essentially drink through your ass and not get sick
Ass chugging for health sounds sus but I don't know enough about butt hydration to dispute it
It sounds logical to me that you wouldn't get sick, after all your poop isn't exactly sterile and so your colon is already shielding you from absorbing the bad stuff from it. What I question is how much hydration you'll really gain, you definitely absorb some since some folks can get drunk by dipping a tampon in vodka and putting it up there but I dunno about water..
In a different thread someone said that it's the opposite, you better drink the water because that would at least pose a chance of killing some threats, whereas if you butt-drink it it will be guaranteed to deliver everything as is
So I guess if I'm ever in a survival situation and this scenario comes up, it'll be Schrodinger's Buttchug
Internet comment of the day right there.
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Colon is really good at dehydrating. That's why you get constipation if you hold it too long.
As we all know, our intestinal trackt is (mainly) divided into 3 sections: stomach, small intestine and the colon. The stomach mainly breaks down the food physically and chemically. The small intestine absorbs nutrients (and breaks down the food even more) and the colon dehydrates the poop, to not waste water and to get a bit more suitable consistency. It also saves space if you dont have to store all the water.
So you can absolutely drink water through your colon. I wouldn't really recommend it, since theres the danger of you accidentally pushing back your stool which isn't that good, but you can do it.
As we all know, our intestinal trackt is (mainly) divided into 3 sections: colon, small intestine and the colon
WTF 2 COLONS
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I only know that from Bear Grylls and I think that guy is just a fetishist pretending to be a survivalist.
Ah, I learned it from Les Stroud aka Survivorman, who is the real deal, seems like Bear got it right for once.
(Should be noted it’s not a good method and still has hazards, but could save your life if you don’t have another option- similar to how how Les will advocate for simply drinking from a mountain stream if you can’t purify- more than likely you won’t get giardia- even if you do, better than dying of dehydration after 3 days of no water)
It should be the opposite. Saliva enzymes, stomach acid, and bile takes care of most pathogens, whereas anal lining is basically a direct route to your bloodstream.
This is why anal is considered the riskiest option for sex or drugs.
We're not even in the douche bag dystopia's final form
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Anon WAS dehydrated.
Does this actually get absorbed like as if you drank it from your mouth?
And what if the water isn't clean, does it get filtered this way? Since excrement isn't clean either, there must be protection against dirt in there?
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essentially. You can absorb water through the esophagus, intravenously, subcutaneously, or via the rectal route
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nope. The bacteria and viruses will remain in your bowel, avoiding the acidic stomach acids that would normally kill them. This is a great way to get an infection
So it's actually safer to drink the dirty water
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A normal day on 4Chan
This is what Brent Kavanaugh meant in his high school yearbook when he said "Have you boofed yet?"
The dude was parched.
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