Can you do something about the... gestures vaguely at everything?
this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2025
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Sure. Everything in the universe has been shifted slightly to the left:
Γhanks!
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I'll have a Krabby Patty Deluxe and a double chili kelp fries.
Daring today, aren't we:
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Let’s try making Karma a real universal force
Good one! Your wish has been granted (but in an alternate universe). After a period of turmoil, the citizens of Earth C-132 create a utopic society:
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Okay, let's try this.
Every single human being, gradually, develops empathy and awareness to how their choices affects themselves and others.
This is to happen over a period of a year and will not lead people to despair but to understand the poor choices they have made throughout their lives and lead them to live better lives, with no malice arbored towards others and themselves.
This effect will include the granter of this wish.
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Could you dissapear all the facisim thats popping up everywhere? That would be super.
The fascism is now undetectable to the vast majority but still happening behind the scenes:
Gender changing potion
Here you go. These are gender-fluids. Once ingested, someone who identifies as either a man or a woman will now identify as gender-fluid. (Does not come with physical changes):
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A divorce
Done.
One (1) fall of capitalism please
You got it. Post apocalyptic scenario ends all forms of investment and monetary exchange. We go back to the barter system:
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I want my farts to smell especially pleasant and take people to their happiest childhood memories.
Granted, but all of your farts are now noticeably audible. You can no longer fart quietly:
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You’ve done more than enough, my child. Get yourself something nice.
𝔗𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔨 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔰𝔦𝔯𝔢.
I conjure myself up some tea.... it verges on the cusp of excessive lemon.
Fully automated luxury queer space communism, in the sense it was conceived at (as opposed to you interpreting the words yourself), instantly, with everybody’s belief system magically adapting as if they had lived in this new society for a few decades. As a result, everyone adapts immediately, without negative result on anyone's mental or physical health, and without anyone being brainwashed or changed in a way they wouldn't have naturally changed if they had time to experience living in a community that they can trust and that cares about them.
In other words: Iain M. Banks’ Culture decides to bring Earth in, but magically instantly.
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disappear the orange orc.
A bagel.
No. Wait.
Two bagels.
The next time that you eat at a restaurant and are entirely full, two fresh artisanal bagels are delivered to your table: they're complementary.
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Whenever someone attempts to make a golf swing, change the friction coeficcient of the grip to zero.
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Can you clear both my nasal passages so I can breath through them simultaneously?
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