A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.
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I discovered this year that there was an unspoken rule to get on the bus in the order you arrived at the bus stop at. I had never paid attention to this and just got on in order of proximity to the door when it stopped until I got yelled at. I thought the guy was just being weird but I’ve paid attention since and it is absolutely true, people will move away from the door to let people who have waited longer board first.
Not sure how universal this is, I’m in the UK.
This has to be a UK thing. Elsewhere I've only ever seen people with accessibility needs prioritized.
UK, home of the queue! Although we Americans inherited the tradition of the queue from you and skipping the line is very much frowned upon here, I don't recall anyone caring about who gets onto public transportation first. I know I've never thought about it. Who's paying attention to what order people arrive at a bus stop, anyway??
Yet, in other parts of the UK it’s mostly based on who is the most skilful at standing where the bus doors will stop.
Don’t wanna get on last? Git gud.
Not at all how it happens in Brazil, it's free for all, especially as sometimes the bus might already be so fucking packed it won't fit everyone trying to get in. I've had that happen to me several times and I also had the "pleasure" of being the last person to find a way to squeeze in more than once.
Some 10 to 7-ish years ago, it was also very common to have attention seeking idiots who'd put their phones on max volume and play their shitty music so everyone else had to listen, sometimes ending in a fight. This shit apparently died out, thank fuck
It's a courtesy thing that some people will do and some people won't, in my city people tend to do ladies first then by arrival time.
I'm in the UK and tend to do this. I don't notice it done by most people though.
We do seem to have a learned behaviour to queue here, so it makes sense to me that some people maintain a virtual queue in their head.
I was like "I'm pretty sure that's autism" and then I saw where I was.
I was relating a little too much and got excited finding something so niche but relatable, expecting this was in a meme community and then facepalmed on the inside when I saw the community 🫠
As a kid I didn't know you need to press the stop button and just assumed the bus stops at all stops every time. Somehow I got through 2 years of regular use without missing a stop until I learned about the button.
If there is no buttons you are supposed to yell "next stop please."
Guess I’m just stuck on the bus forever at that point
I've never been on one without a button or wire to pull to indicate stopping.
One of the rules I find interesting is that when you ride an elevator you should turn around and face the door.
Not saying there is a wrong direction to face while riding an elevator (without further context), but it always just made sense to me to face the door you expect to open when the elevator gets to the floor you're traveling to. Like, nothing stops you from facing sideways on a moving sidewalk, but facing the direction you intend to go when the ride is over is more convenient.
Yeah the door face is where the buttons and floor indicator are typically. Plus, other people might join the elevator before you get to your floor. Assuming you would rather be facing them then showing them your back it makes sense to turn around right away.
There are some social conformity experiments on youtube about getting people to face the "wrong" way though.
I can certainly see situations to face the other way, and wouldn't think twice if I got in an elevator and someone was facing away from the door. It just seems less of a social construct and more of just practicality.
Now, who gets to press the buttons in the elevator, and whether you should ask for someone to press it for you or ask them to move aside so you can press it, are definitely things I struggle with if there is a group of people getting on an elevator at the same time. (I usually just let that one go without me and wait for another one)
How are you supposed to know when it's your floor if you're not facing the door?
I commonly see people spread out and stand with their backs to each wall, facing the center. You can still see the floor indicator easily when standing to one side like that. Of course, if there's only a couple floors, you may not need to look.
Sure, if your back's to the wall you can turn your head to look at the floor umber. I don't think anyone would think standing there is strange.
an elevator with two doors appears
Vordt.mp4 begins to play in the background.
Whenever you're in new situations, it's ok to not know how to behave, you never did that before and, unless someone walked you thru, you won't know about hidden rules. Like the first time doing a job interview, or the first time going out on a romantic date. The difference is that in some settings, everyone is so used to everyone "knowing" that they really can't fathom someone not knowing
Funny bit, I recall a piece on the local TV showing a tourist (I think he was German or French) who visited Brazil for the first time. He went to a self service restaurant, but just sat there, waiting for someone to give him a menu, for like 15 minutes until a woman approached him and asked if everything was ok. "Everyone" knows you're supposed to pick a plate and serve your own plate with the available food in these restaurants.
I went through this learning the same example: bus. But other situations, too.
Yes, this is normal. It's how being. Part of a society works. Everybody learns the conventions at some point and often just by mimicking.
Enjoy your autism mate
It's not a fear, it's real. Rules like you aren't allowed to do better than your paygrade.
Some stupid diploma is more important. If you try to learn and improve, people will DESPISE you.
I'm bad about watching others in a not very graceful way. I end up staring for to long and it gets weird.
Is that not just “trying to fit in”?
I've had this for the most time, social fear with exactly that thinking. I did overcome it in the last years though. I can't really explain how but I internalized that other people can be like that too, so you're not alone, and that when there are no rules, you can behave how it's comfortable to you and that's 100% fine.
This peaks when the police drives by.
Am I actually allowed to sit on this park bench?
Am I actually allowed to sit on this park bench?
