Warp core engineers: we need redundancies and safeguards here, here, and here
Bridge console engineers: don’t forget the high-voltage rail and the concussive feedback blasters
Chair engineers: fuck seatbelts wooooo
this post was submitted on 25 Sep 2023
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Come on'n get your jamaharon on! There are no real rules—just don't break the weather control network.
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Also: this console doesn't have enough rocks inside of it. And you call that a ceiling? I don't see a single loose girder in there!
Ah yes, the flamethrowers, a key component of good console design!
"Commander, I did a level 5 scan of the bridge turbolift controls, and I noticed there's a couple of unnecessary and dangerous flamethrowers in there. So I thought..."
"Stop asking stupid questions. This is why you're still an Ensign, Harry."
Safety studies showed that seatbelts lead to a lot of injuries to helms staff being struck by the rocks they fill the LCARs control boards with.
If the inertial dampers fail, wouldn’t the seat belt just cut you in half anyway?
If they were going fast enough for that to happen they would be launched toward the front of the ship anyway, and we don't see that happening.
It’s obvious that the inertial dampers never fail 100%
Bridge console engineers: .... oh wow look at this guys ... liquid napalm is a great electrical conductor ... we should use this amazing liquid to power these consoles
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Wouldn't blowing up also render the console inoperative? I would think safely shutting down would be preferable to exploding if the end result is still a dead console.
Depends on your proximity to Scotty/LaForge/O'Brien
This is a really great comment and I learned something today!
This is one of the better explanations for the exploding consoles I've seen. It still doesn't justify them, but at least it's something.
The main issue is that there's no reason that consoles should explode. These are effectively touchscreens. If you push a touchscreen beyond its operational parameters, it should glitch, it should have trouble recognizing inputs, but it shouldn't blow up. If it was pushed beyond what was safe it should either break or be annoying to use. Not dangerous.
Even with 21st century technology, a touch-screen type thing basically sips power. Smart phones can sometimes explode, but that's only because they contain a relatively huge battery. These things are hooked into the ship's power so they should only be drawing a few watts.
Still, if we combine your suggestion about battleshorts with the idea that for some ridiculous reason they run everything on the ship on plasma that comes directly from the warp core, then maybe...
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As an Other Place fan whose experience with trying to befriend Star Trek fans IRL has hit the tragic third - thank you for being reasonable. I've met some people pretending that the Other Place is "space wizards for children", while Star Trek is "real science fiction". While in fact they're the same - for most part space magic and for the select few areas, yes, real science fiction.
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I saw someone once theorize that the console designers knew their creations would get dumped with tons of heat and current under battleshort conditions, and had to come up with some fallbacks. So they just filled it with a ton of mass to soak it up as long as possible, a big hunk of basalt. Unfortunately, when it gets overloaded, it tends to explosively fracture. But that's better than cooking every ensign to touch a panel when under fire
would get dumped with tons of heat and current under battleshort conditions
But, why? If it were part of the engine, or a pump, or a transformer, or something that requires a lot of power that would be one thing. But, there's no reason that the consoles should be part of a circuit that draws a lot of power or heat or anything.
Filling it full of rocks makes sense if soaking power was an issue, but this is just a basic UI element.
Ok, how about this: it's critical that consoles like security, navigation, steering, etc. always be available. Because of that, they can't risk any downtime in a battle, so they need to be able to self-repair. Their solution to this is to embed replicator technology into each console, so that any damage can be instantly fixed. Unfortunately, replicators need to be able to draw huge amounts of power / energy, which means the consoles need access to a lot of power. That's why when they get damaged there can be a big explosion, but also why they're never broken in those explosions. They self-repair so that someone can take over the console and immediately start using it again. Maybe it also explains the rocks -- raw material for the replicators to use when repairing.
The warp core was originally a space babble replacement for a boiler on a steam ship, since it was based on WW2 navy ships. On old steam ships literally almost everything ran directly on auxiliary steam. As a result of probably not revisiting this since the 60s: everything in trek runs directly on warp core plasma.
You mean WW 0? Even in WW1 ICE powered ships are commonplace.
WWNAM. I joke.
Circuit breakers don't work for plasma conduits.
And it is crucial because of the [insert technobabble] that the consoles are powered by plasma.
Better contrast in a well lit environment
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The real problem is they don't reinforce those damn plasma conduits enough. Your running plasma for your fucking power grid. Don't put it right behind a stupid panel or console. The terminal does not need that much electricity!
The Federation's original technical manual was written by Tim "The Toolman" Taylor. [Low grunting ensues]
That's Galaxy Quest.
Allen Rickman really should have gotten a part in some Star Trek. They got the Klingon Doc Brown to give them his souped up Bird of Prey time machine. The least they could have done is offered Allen Rickman the part of Kahn in the reboot movies.
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It would destroy all their terrible plots though.
Picard: "Shut down the holodeck!"
Data: "Holodeck controls are not responding"
Picard: "Pull the holodeck MCB!"
Data: "Holodeck systems shut down"
Credits.
Also I love how there were instances where power was of the essense, but the holodecks were explained to have their own, independent power supplies so it wasnt relevant to shut down.
I mean, given what a holodeck does, basically a sustained, massive, active energy to matter transport, one would think it would be useful to design the ship to tap into it in important instances. Holodecks are great, but when life support is failing and phasers are down to 13%, not super relevant.
Like wouldn't voyager prefer to use that energy to make food from their replicators?
Ooh! I have headcanon for this: An uncontrolled holodeck shutdown turns the holomatter into effectively high speed razor wire.
Which means in my headcanon, some holodeck engineer once met a very grim ending - so that Moriarty could later amount to any more than a simple reboot.
Discovery had actual god damn flamethrowers in the bridge walls. Missing circuit breakers are nothing compared to that horror.
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And seatbelts. When they get shot, the whole bridge (but not the whole ship? or there'd be dozens of casualties every time) goes flying. But not when the ship spins around in a tactical maneuver. Do the stabilizers just go out with every hit?
I'd guess the ag field can adjust for maneuvers, but not unexpected jolts from battle? And yeah why do we never hear about the shattered tanks in hydroponics, people falling into the warp core, and doctors getting stabbed by their own scalpels every time a laser hits the ship?
It's not unreasonable to think that the inertial dampeners can perfectly compensate for any planned movement, but when you've got the equivalent of a hundred nukes going off a few tens of metres away when a torpedo hits, it might take a couple of nanoseconds to react, and that kind of force for a couple of nanoseconds would jostle things about a bit.
And yeah why do we never hear about the shattered tanks in hydroponics, people falling into the warp core, and doctors getting stabbed by their own scalpels every time a laser hits the ship?
Generally this is glossed over. First off, red alert procedures mean preparing for battle conditions, so it probably means halting non-essential operations that would be high risk during a battle, as well as increased precautions by essential personnel.
Second, we get immediate damage and casualty reports, which includes a fly by mention of damage and injured crew. That probably covers most of what you are thinking of. It's all repaired by the next episode anyway.
But then there wouldn’t be any room for rocks
No engineer would build a system like that purposely, so they must be required to have high-energy plasma in them in order to work.
My headcanon is that the high energy plasma in the consoles sends signals FTL, using something like subspace but in the conduit. This is necessary because the ship is moving at superliminal speeds, and regular electronics won't work due to the subspace field.
That's really good headcanon!
Of course, the first person to wire a 5 volt button to their photon torpedo launcher in prep for a non-subspace battle will become a powerful warlord.
But that's still at least pretty logical for a vehicle whose primary purpose is interstellar exploration.
Exploding panels is actually how they stop overpopulation.
Those damn fertile red shirts. They never stop multiplying.
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Those magic black rocks they're filled with are very volatile.
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