this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2025
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On Monday, I lost my dog (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 week ago by toynbee@lemmy.world to c/dogs@lemmy.world
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I don't really know what to do about it. He'd been acting weird, but he was always a weird dog, I just thought he was being a slightly odder version of himself. Turns out he was dying. I sat next to his body for hours thinking he was just asleep - I even commented to my wife in a video call about how still he was being. I should have realized, but I didn't know he was gone until I reached down to pet him. I don't even know what happened and we're having him cremated so I never will.

Fortunately my wife and kid are out of town so my kid didn't have to see his body and my in-laws helped with all the physical stuff so I didn't have to struggle with that. It feels wrong to have all of these emotions days later but there they are. I keep expecting to see him every time I turn a corner and, while sitting in my recliner, I keep starting to reach over to scratch his head or pet him.

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[–] pishadoot@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The pain we feel from the death of a pet is the blood price we pay for the joy they bring in life.

It is always too soon, and there's always regrets. Not sure if you've lost a family or close friend yet, but it's similar for humans. It's harder for pets in some ways because, as you're feeling now, there are things we might miss due to the lack of communication.

You may blame yourself forever, but you shouldn't. Instead, it's a lesson in care for a future pet. I've learned over the years to be very aware of things and be overly cautious with taking them to the vet, and I also am an advocate for pet insurance. I'm lucky to have the means now that I don't have to worry about vet bills, but it wasn't always that way.

My pets now get the best care and the best quality of life because I want them to have a better life than how some of my pets lived when I was younger. I've learned, and I hate myself for how I was, but all I can do is learn and be better now. My pets deserve it.

If you felt like you gave your dog had a good life two week ago, then that's all that matters, not that you didn't recognize the symptoms.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's an awful thing, and I can't imagine the guilt you're feeling even if I don't personally think you should be feeling guilty, for what it's worth. Those feelings are normal, know that. It's part of the grief. It's part of the price we pay.

When my pets die I will feel the same things again just like you are now, but it won't be my fault then even though I will feel it, it's death. It's the other side of the coin of life - all things die, it's part of the process.

Good luck stranger

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

Yeah, animals tend to try to hide their injuries and illnesses. It's a behavior that is beneficial in the wild.

[–] Scrawny@reddthat.com 3 points 6 days ago

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know all too well the pain. I lost my 15 year old pup last month and I still struggle some days. For her age she was in good health so it was unbelievable going for a nice walk in the park early morning to driving to the vet hours later and then driving home alone. I'm still in a bit of shock.

[–] Peasley@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago

It's good he got to be with you at the end. Sorry for your loss. You will miss him for a long time and that's ok

[–] Today@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. It's so hard! We still catch glimpses of our old furry friends months or years later - beside the couch, under the table, in dreams, ...

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

My emotions are being stupid and I certainly can't explain them, but your username was a shocking comfort. Thank you for both that and your comment.

[–] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sorry for your loss, OP. What was his name?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Remi. We adopted him from someone who was leaving the state. He came with the name, but I didn't dislike it. Thank you for asking.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 12 points 1 week ago

I hate it. Its just the worst. He looked like a good boy.

[–] Zikeji@programming.dev 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

My puppy is 14 years old and this possibility terrifies me. I don't have enough PTO to cover the time I feel like I'll be broken. I'm sorry for your loss :(

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

I hope you're with your puppy another fourteen years.

[–] UrPartnerInCrime@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago

I'm so sorry

[–] HeyJoe@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Sorry for your loss. We had the same thing happen a few months ago, and I even posted here as well. I was a wreck for the first week. First dog and had her for her entire life of 10 years. A few months in, and I still get sad. All the things you just did without even noticing are the things that keep making me remember.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I'm sorry for reminding you of your pain.

[–] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

That is awful. My condolences to you. I hope you can heal and grieve comfortably over time. He looks like the bestest boy even if he was weird.

[–] agent_nycto@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Who tf down voted this?

[–] Today@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

I just assume they had a hard time upvoting something so sad and their downvote means, "I'm sorry for your loss."