this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 2 points 10 hours ago

If Dr Suess was in charge of naming the states:

[–] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 4 points 13 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ianhclark510@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 9 hours ago

as an Oregonian I 100% accpt the decision to merge us with Warshington

[–] moakley@lemmy.world 5 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

As a resident of Floxus, I propose we make the creeping phlox our state flower.

(It smells like rotting skunk.)

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

isn't that the shit that Trump smells like?

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 4 points 14 hours ago

this unironically looks like how some colonies used ro be divvied up. fitting for a colonial empire.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 3 points 13 hours ago

Now I want to see this cross referenced to a population map and overlay major cities and show us the population of each new state and what cities would be in each.

[–] jaupsinluggies@feddit.uk 7 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Americans are so dumb when it comes to timezones we could just assign Maintana to GMT+5, Washconsin GMT+6 and so on downwards. It wouldn't make any difference to them and it'd be a lot more fun for the rest of us.

True story: "The meeting is at 1500 EDT". "Your state is currently on EST so if I turn up at the specified time I'll be an hour late. Are you sure it's 1500 EDT and not 1500 EST?" "Yes, definitely 1500 EDT". /me turns up at 1500 EDT to find the meeting has already finished.

I misread IDOTA as IDIOTA.

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 2 points 14 hours ago

no that's floxas

[–] Akasazh 16 points 1 day ago

I feel like idiota would be overcrowded

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 9 points 22 hours ago

Utucky

No u.

[–] Hjalamanger@feddit.nu 39 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You should sort them in alphabetical order, my European brain won't be able to remember them otherwise

[–] Lv_InSaNe_vL@lemmy.world 3 points 20 hours ago

You just gotta remember the mnemonic for them!

Many Wild Owls In Winter Never Make Unusual Noises, Always Calm and Focused

But that's just taught to us in class as little kids so I forget it's not second nature for the rest of the world!

[–] makyo@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

And put them all to a catchy jingle

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 60 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Residents of Floxas notice no change.

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 day ago

I think it becomes the most populous state

I was about to say—we lost the panhandle, and nobody realistically knows what lives there anyway.

[–] CaptPretentious@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago

Could they at least be an alphabetical order!

[–] evening_push579@feddit.nu 24 points 1 day ago

Split it along the time zones instead. Less states and simpler administration. Washington DC can be its own time zone just to mess with people.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 day ago
[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 14 points 1 day ago

Floxas made me lol

Alascanada?

Hawacuba?

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 33 points 1 day ago (3 children)

One line would be enough: to divide North from South.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 52 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think we tried that once.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At that time only the South wanted independence, now it might be that both parts would rather live on their own.

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

These welfare queen red states would turn into Somalia in short order. If I can't make it back to a blue state before the borders close I'm going to fucking kill myself.

[–] Lembot_0004@discuss.online 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Better to have a small Somalia2 than turn all the US into the Beautiful Somalia of Covfefe, don't you agree?

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[–] expatriado@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

bible belt and sane people

[–] CorruptCheesecake@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

Insular, gossipy, ugly, unintelligible, poorly dressed crazy religious dumbfucks and normal humans who actually have empathy and can accept their town gaining new residents without throwing a redneck tantrum about it every day while said new resident occupies free real estate in their moldy swamp brains.

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[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 day ago

I like how the map shows the curvature of the north border (49th parallel), meaning all these lines bulge north in the middle.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 3 points 21 hours ago

Which sports team am I supposed to root for with this map? Do you expect me to make a careful analysis of team history and current lineup? Or do I pick the one in the state I was born in like a normal person?

[–] Hubbubbub@fedia.io 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Fuck that. The Northeast created this country and we're not gonna be erased.

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago (1 children)

you also created new jersey, take some fuckin responsibility for your sins

[–] VoteNixon2016@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Fine, New Jersey is taking its Unix and going home then

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

oh shit.

well, bsd, er, linux-shit... uh.... TempleOS it is!

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

What's the timezone in Missorado and also historians will debate if that was eldorado just so you know.

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

I especially like IDiOTA

Also

America's borders

USA borders.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

“America” is a shortened name for “United States of America,” in addition to the name of the continent. It can be both, you know.

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[–] makyo@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Believe it or not, those two terms are used interchangably and somehow no one gets confused. A continent AND a country can both have the same name without the world ending.

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[–] ashenone@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 day ago

Maintana most beautiful state

[–] WhyIHateTheInternet@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Bullshit. I just moved from Oklahoma to California to escape the hell hole that is that backwards ass state and I'm not reincorporating.

You have ascended to heaven. If you ever feel stressed, just remember that the people you left behind are still playing in the mud and catching exotic third world diseases.

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