this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2025
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Buy European
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Ugh, don't remind me, I get annoyed whenever I see them in the checkout lane.
Yes we actually still have them, but we have them in the most insulting way, basically one half of the shell is a candy part and the other is the toy and each half is separate by its own film covering.
I bet it was because one kid in the 80s or some shit was in some freak accident or something and the Pearl Clutchers of Americaโข rode in on their high horse to protect everyone lol
Yes we actually still have them, but we have them in the most insulting way, basically one half of the shell is a candy part and the other is the toy and each half is separate by its own film covering.
In Europe (or Germany, at least) they are sold under the name "Kinder Joy", so we can choose between those and Kinder surprise.
I bet it was because one kid in the 80s or some shit was in some freak accident or something
Actually, that's not the case. Kinder Surprise is banned under a law from 1938, long before the product was even conceived.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/21/342
https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/21/331
Specifically to ensure food quality as it happens and therefore commie nonsense
That's kinder joy, not kinder surprise
These are not the right ones. They are also available in Europe.
Two words: Rectal Smuggling
Two more words: Flared Base.
*Making sure their food is ~~good enough~~ food
Which, ironically, is the actual reason Kinder Surprise are illegal in the US: It's not a specific ban, it's that you're not allowed to put non food inside of food. Which is prima facie completely reasonable.
"BuT tHeY aRe A cHoKiNg HaZaRd"
(Read in Jar Jar voice)
Not like they'd miss anything. Just buy a bag of sugar and throw a fingertip of cocoa and some coloring and other inferior crap in it. Still better than all those "chocolate"-shits that are priced like it's 100% pure cocoa made by hand by the CEO.
Kinder Surprises are inferior to Yowies and you can fight me over this.
Or at least, they were. Prior to 2005. Then they got discontinued and brought back over a decade later with inferior Kinder-style simple solid plastic toys.
Apparently though, both the new Yowies and Kinder Surprises are available in America these days.
Kinder Surprise eggs are still illegal in the US, but remain popular on the black market.
I see you guys are still expected to swallow them whole like a snake.
Dunno who "you guys" is, considering the original Yowies sold in Australia are far more of a potential choking hazard than Kinder Surprise's lame lumps of plastic. The fact that it's smaller pieces you assemble yourself is a big part of the reason they're so much better!
Anyway, someone clearly needs to verify this, because the two articles are stating contradictory things. Obviously, one of them is wrong.
Yuris are superior if you ask me.
I'm not familiar. Where are those from?
Japan. Just google Japanese yuri.
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we were having a serious interesting conversation here.
Who said we werenโt?
On a serious note, though, American kinder eggs are sadly different. Theyโre the โtwo halves with tiny plastic spoonโ kind instead of the โget banned for choking childrenโ kind. I kind of prefer the latter. Iโm lucky enough to have a friend from Belgium who visits every year or so and brings a bunch of โem over.
I've had those. In Europe, in fact. That's a Kinder Joy, not a Surprise.
If you're American, I recommend you try and find a Yowie somewhere. Apparently they're sold there. I don't actually recommend the productโunfortunately new Yowies are just as bad as if not worse than Kinder Surprise, unlike the vastly superior version they used to makeโbut just to see the way the skirt a loophole in America's law. Instead of being a completely enclosed (but hollow) case of chocolate, as both Surprises and old Yowies are, new Yowies' eggs have small "wings"which poke out the side of the chocolate.