me_irl

Remember the scene from Saving Private Ryan? The trick to falling asleep is trying to stay awake. Let me explain...

When you are on the couch you are not trying to go to sleep, so you can drift off effortlessly because you are not thinking about going to sleep. It sneaks up on you and catches your conscious, thinking mind unaware.

When you get ready for bed and get in bed, you are focused one thing: going to sleep. And of course being aware that you need to go to sleep makes it impossible to turn your brain off since your conscious mind is intensely aware of the fact that it is time to fall asleep. There is no way for sleep to sneak up on you. And the more you cannot fall asleep the more anxiety you have about not being able to fall asleep and the fact that you will be too tired in the morning because you did not sleep enough. It is a negative feedback spiral that feeds upon itself.

I have not magic wand to fix this. I try to not stress out over not falling asleep, because I feel like it feeds the spiral, but I also have trouble turning my brain off. The one thing I do that I think helps a little bit is not to think about real-world events or problems. I try inventing fictional stories with imaginary characters. This helps avoid stress related to real-world problems I have. It helps a little bit.

I gave up this fight. If I'm tired on the couch I just fall asleep on the couch. Sleep in bad conditions > no sleep in good conditions.

You'll most likely have to move through at least one door so your body just forgets that it wanted to go to bed to sleep

For me, I found out it was the bathroom light! Indoor light messes with our circadian rythm, and I was going into the brightest room in the house right before going to bed. Putting a night-light in the bathroom helped me fall asleep in bed faster

The bed has expectations of sleep. Whereas the couch is entirely liminal.

Usually people have something in the background on a couch like a TV or music that can help lull them to sleep. Beds usually require you to listen to your thoughts and shut down for the day before sleeping. I think it really comes down to your habits and how you've conditioned yourself. I have no issues in falling asleep as soon as I hit the bed even if it's for a nap.

I think it has something to do with having to get into an upright position and moving. It feels like it raises your pulse and blood pressure and adrenaline. At least to me it's this, because I often fall asleep with my daughter in her bed. And I literally only have to move to the bed next to hers, and still this wakes me up so much that, like clockwork, I need 1 hour 30 minutes to feel sleepy again.

I am dealing with this as we speak. Maybe the phone is the problem.

It's just a bit late and arrives as soon as you need to get up.

All your energy settles down at your feet when you're sitting, so your head gets tired, you lay down, all that energy is now spread from head to toe, energizing your brain.

I thought she was giving me shit for always being 'ready to go' in bed.