this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025
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Autism

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Eye Contact, Body Language, and Misperception (lemm.ee)
submitted 4 weeks ago by gronjo45@lemm.ee to c/autism@lemmy.world
5 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Hello All,

Hope you are all doing well despite the current circumstances of the world. Given that society is in a fair amount of turmoil, this is a great time to open up a discussion about the perception of others and how our autism shapes that view.

There have been times in my life where colleagues, friends, classmates/peers start off with an initally positive rapport that is unfortunately shredded at a later date. In the past, this has led to bullying in the workplace and strained interpersonal relationships. When there are other clearly neurodiverse individuals sharing the room with me, oftentimes crude comparisons are made to minimize both myself and the other person.

It's a bit confusing why this happens so often, but I'd imagine that when I get more comfortable, parts of the mask come off. Another guess would be that I may be socially blind to certain actions that may alter one's perception.

Wanted to see if any of you relate to this, as it would be a great discussion item to see how others feel. Wishing you all the best.

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[–] RandomUser@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

People are strange. NT people are stranger. I too fail to move from positive first meeting to friend (whatever that is). - to be honest it's something I'm not uncomfortable with. I don't know what is said behind my back at work, but as I can be rather ferocious at times people tend to be careful. Being good at my job probably helps too.

One thing that did occur to me, and this is not meant to be offensive is that the uncanny valley may play a part. If you don't know what this is, it started with humanoid robots that looked too human and they freaked people out, while non human robots were fine. If the masking isn't perfect NTs can have a hard time with accepting, however people on the other side of the valley can be 'endearingly eccentric' and get along fine. I don't mask anymore, I go for eccentric, it's easier. It is however a fine line and even I have to pretend to be normal sometimes.

[–] gronjo45@lemm.ee 5 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

Completely agree with NT people being stranger. Whenever I chat with someone ND, it feels like there's a layer of understanding that just isn't there with the wider neurotypes.

No offense taken at all, it's a fair comparison, but upsetting when you see the similarity in how judgmental and shallow some people can be. Eccentricity is the route I usually take. It ends up dividing the room into buckets depending on the amount of "personality" one can take. Not sure how predictability/spontaneity influences this viewpoint of NTs as well, but as you pointed out, ferocity and being "too good at your job" can also make NTs jealous from what I've experienced.

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 3 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Especially when they are bad at theirs, and all the more so when they are your boss... 😭

[–] gronjo45@lemm.ee 4 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Yup! Once they notice that you struggle with basic tasks, but are able to synthesize complex information or tackle very involved tasks in a fraction of the time they can... It's bullying for you! :)

[–] OpenStars@piefed.social 4 points 4 weeks ago

The good news is that gaslighting requires your participation.:-)

The bad news is that they control your paycheck.:-(