Ask Lemmy

You can definitely find this dynamic in anime, although a lot of the romance stories are about couples getting together rather than an established relationship. "Horimya" and "My Dress Up Darling" are both series which are recent and very popular. They might be close to what you want. Some less popular titles that are more precisely what you described are "An Archedemon's Dilemma: How to Love Your Elf Bride" and "Shikimori's Not Just A Cutie".

There is a visual novel called Our Life: Beginnings & Always that may fit this. You can play as any gender, but I played as a female and I was very affectionate and doting to the boy in the game named Cove. You can choose to just be friends or create a relationship with him and it gives you a lot of control over how the relationship moves throughout your character's life. He's sensitive and shy, but as you get to know him he becomes very supportive and loving.

You play from childhood to adults and it's very cute. I highly recommend it.

I skimmed through the Romance genre in my media server. Here's what I came up with. Not sure if any of these would work.

WALL-E

Dracula (1992)

Starman. He's not human, but don't hold that against him.

Warm Bodies, if you don't mind a zombie theme

Return to Me. A wife has to die, but there's a nice romance once she's out of the way.

On Golden Pond. There's a romance in there, but it isn't the main part of the story. And they're elderly.

The Man with Two Brains. True, she's just a brain in a jar, but none of us is perfect.

Love Story, just don't believe it when she says love means never having to say you're sorry.

Little Manhattan, but the romance is on the other end of the age spectrum from On Golden Pond

The Fault in Our Stars

Pixar’s UP

You'll probably have an easier time you research some writers who come from more Matriarchical societies. Typically, these are gonna be places with very old cultures. Native populations (almost any country tbh) and Islanders tend to be good bets for that

Robotech has three of these relationships. They’re not very developed since it’s very early anime, but they have many of the qualities you’re describing.

The first one is Claudia and Roy.

Edit: They may not be exactly what you’re describing, but I think they’re in the right direction.

Decent amount of good romance anime that isnt onesided or exceedingly sexualized, one of the better ones i can recommend is The Angel Next Door Spoils Me Rotten. Its a nice slow burn, i think its getting another season soon?

Maybe something in children’s media or Hallmark movies?

True Romance

You might find something like that in the Wheel of Time books. It's been a long time since I read them, but there's a lot of very strong women in those books and only a few of them have a hard time being gentle and compassionate when the situation allows.