this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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Choosing Beggars

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Stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter.

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[–] Smeagol666@lemm.ee 46 points 1 year ago (3 children)

To be fair, I understood right away that "ordering" meant "buying", because these days you can order your own pizza as easily as texting someone else to do it. It's kind of a big ask if you're not actually in a relationship already whether romantic or platonic.

[–] crashoverride@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

And then even moreso with "I got you"

[–] Jax@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

Not sure how any of that excuses the behavior, but sure.

[–] elscallr@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah if someone asked me to send them a pizza I'd assume they meant for me to pay for it. Otherwise they'd have ordered it themselves.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago (4 children)

The 'Yeah I'm feeling nice today' indicated they were going to pay for it.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 13 points 1 year ago

As mentioned in one of my replies, that can also just mean feeling generous with one’s time, and being willing to fill this random request of placing an order for someone for whatever reason. “Generous” doesn’t automatically mean being willing to finance something.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is why autistic people have trust issue.

[–] ProvokedGamer@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This is why ~~autistic~~ people in general have trust issues.

FTFY

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 year ago

FYI, My actual opinion on this:

Almost all people seem to have neurological differences that deviate from “the norm”, turns out the brain is much more dynamic then previously thought. While we can make generalizations for example:

“The Cerebral cortex Broca area play a big role in speech function and is located in the frontal part of the left hemisphere of the brain” However we know that for at least a small portion of left handen people it isn’t and these same functions are instead performed in the right hemisphere. Which is not a recognized disability nor carries a neurological label but will ultimately still have some effect on the persons behavior and functioning.

I believe tiny deviations from the “default blueprint” are a normal part of nature and one of the drivers of evolution but also some disabilities.

When a person has enough connections that deviate from the norm (or simple a few extreme deviations) they may react completely different to the norms people have so long sought to standardize as they where building the social structures of society. And we have tried to standardize those people under a list of labels/disabilities.

I am personally a huge fan of the term neurodivergent which originated from within the autistic community and i did contemplate using jt here. It says as much as “different from the norm” without assuming it to be a net negative which is the case for the names of disabilities.

I do find the term autism is still a good well understood tool to refer to neurodivergent traits that are commonly seen and understood with those that society recognizes as autistic like myself. For example taking information more literally and struggling with subtext and coded languages.

To conclude, in absolutely agree with you. All people can have neurological connections that cause mis-understanding. Often its a case of finding the people that have brains compatible with your own. (Not necessarily similar brain) but in the context i did think my use of “autistic” was the best way to provide information. Some people who don’t recognize a term as neurodivergent may still be searching for answers about their own brain after all.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What does autism have to do with this?

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

The 'Yeah I'm feeling nice today' indicating that they would pay for it is basically some level of encrypted information.

As an experienced adult, i did understand the implication. But when it turns out they didn’t pay i would more likely second doubt myself. After all whats more likely, that I misunderstood the information/ wasn’t clear about what i wanted. Which is a daily occurrence. Or that the other person choses to “prank?” me instead of just saying “no, pay for your own food”

I wouldn’t beg for free food but if i did i would have said “buy and order” me a pizza to be as clear i am asking for both those things.

The 'Yeah I'm feeling nice today' indicated they were going to pay for it.

People suggesting to eat somewhere really stress me out sometimes because the topic of payment and “does this place fits everyones budget” are rarely made explicitly clear.

[–] Cheers@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, but also, order me a pizza is different from buy me a pizza.

I'm feeling nice I'll order it for you is still pretty generous.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz -1 points 1 year ago
[–] CluckN@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This has been a common repost. The first time I saw it the story was the person messaging was a Tinder match and this was there first text conversation.

[–] enu@lemmy.world -1 points 1 year ago

That's a pretty rough first impression to make on someone you're trying to date, haha!

[–] ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Somewhere between "it should be on its way now" and "I hope you know you're an (asshole)" There should have been a "thank you."

The fact that there isn't pretty well confirms who I'm laughing with and who I'm laughing at.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The person's still an ass regardless, but "you a real one" is a thank you. They could've and probably should've reiterated, but they did it at least the once.

[–] ilovededyoupiggy@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interesting. I've heard that phrase but didn't know that's what it meant. Like you said, I still feel like they should have reiterated. But knowing there's something in there that counts as thank you makes it less egregious now, I suppose.

[–] ech@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, in this case it's essentially overly short slang for basically saying "Your a real friend (for doing this)." It could also be used to sort of certify someone in regards to belonging to a group or demographic, but it's fairly flexible.

[–] stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Maliciously complaint with that request. How deeeeevious

[–] qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (5 children)

Tbf is this really a choosing beggar? OP pretended to offer something for free and then stuck them with the bill. If I put a one dollar bill in front of a beggar and yank it away, he’s not a choosy beggar for being annoyed.

Unless the choosy part is “person should have been more specific in their wording, all social interactions are legal contracts with no room for common sense or reasonable interpretation” in which case that is Reddity as fuck and please don’t tell me if that’s your opinion.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well OP did order the pizza like the friend asked, they didn't say they will pay for it. Why would that friend expect others to pay for their stuff and then get mad when they don't?

[–] EddoWagt 1 points 1 year ago

It's a weird thing to ask, sure. But the "I'm feeling nice today" and the "yeah I got you" definitely implied he/she was going to pay

[–] IWantToFuckSpez@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

If someone randomly asked me to order them pizza to their job I would’ve done the same. In my experience it’s usually a freeloader who does this who never offers me anything.

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

wtf are you talking about?

OP was the guy who sent someone he knew a random message asking to order a pizza for him.

Confused second person agreed to order it and send it along, not to pay for it. “Being generous” can also mean taking time out my schedule to deal with this for you on your behalf for whatever reason.

Apparently OP could pay when the pizza arrived.

So yes, choosing beggar.

[–] qwamqwamqwam@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So… “person should have been more specific in their wording, all social interactions are legal contracts with no room for common sense or reasonable interpretation”?

[–] mateomaui@reddthat.com 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It’s a image from boredpanda, not a screengrab from the lemmy poster’s phone, in case that needs to be pointed out.

And yes, there are people in this world who take requests quite literally. Doesn’t matter if you approve of that. If anyone I know texted that to me, I would assume they were too busy to call it in or whatever and just needed the assist to get it to them. If they want me to pay, they better say so.

OP should have been specific that he wanted a pizza randomly bought for him.

Yeah, I saw what you already said about such replies. Get over it!

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Hey bro, can I get you a pizza? You seem tense.

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

It's the way you said it??? A blind person can tell from the way you said everything that you would pay for it

[–] AgentGrimstone@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Well at least least they said they found it funny. They had a good time.

[–] 768@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

Verbs are important. Ordering, buying and paying are different things.