this post was submitted on 26 Feb 2025
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[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 50 points 1 day ago (6 children)

I do believe this was made with best intentions but it has major "just be happy" energy and is made from a position of privilege.

Just getting a therapist for example is a huge battle. Having supportive friends is not ubiquitous. Changing jobs is risky and in certain financial circumstances almost impossible, especially with dependents.

That said I approve of the message that without living there is no possibility of things getting better. My advice is to focus on small maybe even tiny victories daily making lifestyle changes where possible.

[–] CompassRed@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

I respectfully disagree. Its thesis is simply that you can have a better life if you stay alive. The "proof" is simply all the changes the artist went through in order to find a better life. The changes aren't supposed to be a recipe on how to make your life better - I don't think the artist is telling people to divorce their spouses. There isn't anything "just be happy" about getting a divorce.

[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 4 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Fair enough, I think yours is also a valid interpretation.

I just want to clarify: with "just be happy" energy, I meant the tendency of people to suggest seemingly simple fixes to others struggling with mental health. Even, if they work for oneself and even if it works statistically (for example sport is a good habit against depression), it feels like talking the problem down. But that is highly subjective of course.

[–] CompassRed@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 4 hours ago

Yeah. That makes sense. It is definitely a real problem.

[–] hierophant_nihilant@reddthat.com -2 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

And I do believe, that it's not the comic that was made from the position of privilege, but your fucking comment. Who the hell are you to approve it or not and spread out your advice instead? Come on, check yourself first

[–] weker01@sh.itjust.works 2 points 18 hours ago

Ok, what do you mean by checking myself first?

I just commented on how I personally perceived the comic. I also said that I believe that the comic was made with good intentions.

Ultimately, I am just someone on the Internet. I have no illusion that my comments here matter. Though, I do have first and second hand experience with depression and suicide if that matters, which it does not.

And yes in many ways I am extremely privileged when it comes to this topic, e.g. my healthcare insurance is not tied to my employer as I don't live in the US. I would like to know how that has anything to do with my comment above though.

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[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 11 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Lemmy people are not happy because this guy is

[–] nomugisan@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

Non-depressed Lemmy users when depressed people act depressed:

[–] mke@programming.dev 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 21 hours ago) (1 children)

Misery likes company, not perspective. Fuck happiness, yeah?

[–] Snowclone@lemmy.world 3 points 21 hours ago

People do prefer company to being told. I lost my brother to suicide, really messed me up bad. I did some volunteer work on a suicide prevention service, and people really just want a little bit of your time in the immediate sense, and social support structure long term. Most people have this with families, but it can get really bad when that falls apart due to anything negative in that space of their life.

I know the saying is supposed to mean ''you'd rather make other people miserable than work on yourself'' but in a social sense, company works a lot better than telling someone it's not working and walking away.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I think it has something to do with the guy saying he thought of his daughter.

Like, motherfucker, how was your child not at the forefront to begin with? If you were prepared to end your own life you were prepared to abandon your child.

I get it, though. It is sending a good message through a personal story. But it is fucked up, though much like the topic of suicide itself, so it is probably inescapable.

[–] rautapekoni@sopuli.xyz 3 points 21 hours ago* (last edited 21 hours ago)

I get it, though. It is sending a good message through a personal story. But it is fucked up, though much like the topic of suicide itself, so it is probably inescapable.

The message was botched, though. The cartoonist said they can show evidence that "we" (the passive you, whatever) can change our lives, but the only evidence was about themself. I believe they don't know shit about anyone elses life or problems and are falling on survivor bias saying "just do what I did!".

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[–] Nougat@fedia.io 105 points 2 days ago (5 children)

It's more true to say that you can't find a better life if you don't continue living. But that's not a guarantee that you can.

[–] brrt@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Survivorship bias. In this case also quite literally?

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 day ago

You're not wrong but fuckin hell, that's one way to put it.

[–] archonet@lemy.lol 12 points 1 day ago

indeed, sometimes your reward for perseverance is more suffering!

[–] ReallyActuallyFrankenstein@lemmynsfw.com 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's the spirit!

(but you're right of course)

[–] bane_killgrind@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 day ago

Because of the way comments are ordered, I thought for a second that you were replying to the guy saying "being a ghost might be fun too"

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[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I think honestly another way to put it is that pain and suffering are merely unpleasant signals intended to actually prevent you from dying. Death itself is a lovecraftian horror.

I think I'll take the unpleasant signals.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

That makes death sound far too attractive.

[–] HalfSalesman@lemm.ee 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Are you sure that's not some kind of kink of yours?

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

That if anything, I don't really like people in that way but even with a Lovecraftian horror I'd prefer just to cuddle with it and be friends and destroy the world together (not that I'd be very helpful with the latter).

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Death itself is a lovecraftian horror.

Death is what you make of it.

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[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 15 points 1 day ago (9 children)

Ok so if I can't afford to find even a simple therapist finding a good one lol !

Always those with money giving life advice.

[–] shplane@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

https://openpathcollective.org/ provides a long list of therapists that work on an affordable, sliding scale

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

US only and still 30$ to 70$ per session !

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Well ig you can find a good friend or a crack head to vent to if nothing else works out. Anyway, hope things work out for you in case you are in need of one.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well wouldn't any other country offer therapy for free? Is it counted as medical care?

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 day ago

Depends on country. In Canada only some provinces provide it

[–] Johanno@feddit.org 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Just take the money from the rich. And if you are hungry eat the rich.

[–] whelk@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Oo-de-lally!

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 11 points 1 day ago (6 children)

They think they have figured out some other secret other than freedom to make mistakes because they have the financial backing to make them is what sets them apart.

Life is full of people thinking that if other follow their exact steps it will work without realizing the things they have differently, such as money and resources, even just skills or biological quirks, do make quite the difference in being able to followed.

I'm not against them sharing it worked for them but that's as far as I feel it goes.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 day ago

Fully agree with this comment. This is why I always tell young people "if you don't know what you want to do, chase money"; because it you find out you want to do something else but you're not rich enough to do it, you're screwed

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[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 13 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Sooo.... Pushed a huge reset button on their relationships and...
I still don't get this. This kind of advice doesn't exactly work for anyone but the person speaking. No one can exactly follow the life of another as we are all completely different.

I guess the point that you have some level of free will and can make personal choices is new to some people but that isn't a fix and doesn't really resolve anything for depression.

It's trying a different tactic to handling life but it negates what was causing them misery in the first place. Which is the monotony of life itself to a degree.

This tosses all that in favor of denying finding purpose for just exploding your existence to see if you can build it new in a way that might make you happy but likely will need another reset when it stops working.

I just don't get it.

Does everything have to apply 1:1 to your own life for you to be able to take something useful from somebody else's story?

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 78 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think this is advice as much as it is a story. The advice is “find a better life, whatever that life is.”

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[–] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 15 points 2 days ago (13 children)

You're right. But if someone I care about is choosing between suicide and explode their relationships, I hope they choose explode their relationships. I'll be there when they figure out whatever is next. (I know because I have been for someone who did. I'm not delighted with how they handled things, but I'm glad I still have them.)

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