The Onion, a satirical site that manages to persuade people to believe the absurd,
Someone at AP is having a hard time concealing their hatred of the Onion or doesn't grasp the concept of satire
this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2024
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I actually read that line as being in the spirit of an Onion article itself. Something like "Executives at The Onion admit entire contents of site to be patently absurd nonsense, according to exclusive investigative report by The Onion."
I think someone at AP is jealous.
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You have no idea how thoroughly I scoured every aspect of the URL and contents to make sure this article wasn't coming from The Onion itself.
Likewise, and I am still not 100% sure.
that posture has serious "so it has come to this..." energy
"I miss leading raiding parties through swamps"
The chuds' twitter responses to The Onion's post are unintentionally gut-bustingly hilarious.
Corncob season is going on really long this year.
The chuds saying it hasn't been funny since '16 are really telling because it's probably because they made fun of poor smol bean Trump :(
real 
hours
Well that’s one way to try to make Infowars irrelevant.
oh no
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As a long time conspiracy theory "fan", following the absolute lowliest, worst of the worst pieces of shit on the planet, this feels a bit like a moment of respite. A relief to watch live as one of the largest peddlers of filth is shut down.
what's to stop alex from starting up again under another name? i'm sure elon or thiel or someone would give him the money...
Debt and legal provisions, basically. Jones isn't a financially independent person anymore. He kept losing court cases to the Sandy Hook survivors to the point they decided to liquidate his company. He owes them an astounding amount of money for libel and damages, like in the billions.
Yeah, in the first couple of weeks after the news of his billion dollar judgement, he was already trying. He had like a "new" show that he promised was totally different and separate from IW and the judge was like yeah no.
Lmao Alex Jones doing ban evasion by setting up INFOWARS2, 1NF0W4RS, MORE~~TANKIE~~DERANGEDINFOWARS, etc
1nf0warez
Alex Jones personally cracking only the unwokest of games
It was pretty much exactly that
from your mouth to god's ears
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He's already admitted he's going to do that.
Jones had said on his show that “good guys” had been trying to bid on Infowars to keep him in place, but that even if they fail, he’ll keep broadcasting on new platforms and new social media accounts.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/14/business/onion-alex-jones-infowars-auction/index.html
This is the first time on this site I've had the reddit experience of the entire front page filled up with the same headline
I only see two posts about it on Local, one in c/chapotraphouse and one in c/news?
I guess it's because I have federation turned on
I try to go beyond local sometimes but then I immediately come crawling back into the warm bosom of the puppy girl collective. 
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Everyone is so hyped about it lmao
I've been praying for this downfall for a looooooooong time. I deserve a little treat!
I didn't know anything about the sale. A few minutes ago on Bluesky I saw hard to understand post with a screengrab of Jones doing his yelling shtick on Infowars and the text said "his Onion sale". It's weird when seemingly impossible rare events have a 50/50 chance of being true. But now in this Trump 2.0 era - such events might happen a few times a month. Yesterday it was Gaetz as Trump's AG pick. Today it's The Onion owning Infowars. Will tomorrow have crazy news too? Or will we have to wait a week or two?
If we can't have sanity, I'll settle for hilarity.
Misread your statement 
Finally some good fucking news
God yes.
Here is a press statement from The Onion. It says that the Onion plans to completely transition InfoWars into a new website by January 2025. I think this is a screenshot of an email maybe. Maxwell Tani is a journalist from semafor.com, so it's definitely a legit screenshot.
https://xcancel.com/maxwelltani/status/1857063171900514527
Here is a joke article about the acquisition. The acquisition is real.
https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/
Here is a video clip of Alex Jones announcing the acquisition by The Onion.
https://xcancel.com/JordanUhl/status/1857075969544040582
Here is a social media post by Ben Collins, CEO of The Onion. "We're planning on making a very stupid website."
https://xcancel.com/oneunderscore__/status/1857068633127530939
True patriots in control
Oh that's delightful 
I wanna know how much they spent on this joke. At the end of the day all they bought was a URL right?
They get all the assets like the studio and the fake boner pill business
infowars is a trademark. the auction covers all his accounts and anything related to the brand as far as i know
The Connecticut families of victims of the Sandy Hook school shooting that had sued Jones and Infowars’ parent company, Free Speech Systems LLC, backed the bid by The Onion to purchase Infowars’ intellectual property, including its website, customer lists and inventory, certain social media accounts and the production equipment used to put Jones on the air. The Connecticut families agreed to forgo a portion of their recovery to increase the overall value of The Onion’s bid, “enabling its success,” according to lawyers for the families.
So like also some cameras, contact lists, trademarks etc.
The real thing they bought was assurance nobody else could buy it. Especially those customer lists. Lists like that built the modern Right.
I think also a bunch of IP?
they bought all the IP, immedatly after the sale he pireted all of the videos over to his new website and also called his show the same thing as the show name the Onion bought, so there is a decent chance a lawsuit will go up to stop that
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True patriots in control
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