this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Ask Lemmy

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[–] Extrasvhx9he@lemmy.today 38 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"I'm whoever you want me to be, sweetheart" smoker's cough

[–] toothpaste_sandwich 4 points 2 years ago

I like this one. It nasty.

[–] Sketchpad01@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

Your name, usually.

[–] oldGregg@lemm.ee 13 points 2 years ago

Who's asking?

[–] leraje@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

I dunno man, when it comes right down to it, who are any of us really? Y'know?

[–] DarkMessiah@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

“I’m Batman,”

[–] pturn1@lemmy.world 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"I'm Ronnie fucking Pickering"

[–] leraje@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] AstroViking@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

RONNIE FUCKING PICKERING!

[–] beefbaby182@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

"My name is Inigo Montoya. You kill my father. Prepare to die."

[–] Hanabie@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Spending an hour in the character generator, then clicking "venture forth".

[–] i_shot_the_sherry@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"I'm fine, thanks. Who are you?"

[–] Kalladblog@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Hello Fine Thanks. I'm CD.

[–] Drivebyhaiku@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

"Do you want my name rank, serial number and the Readers Digest shitty condensed version of my life story or do you just want to know what I am doing in your living room?"

[–] abracaDavid@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Goddamn. Lemmy users are bad at comebacks.

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 years ago

I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the little mouse that eats your cheese! I am Darkwing Duck

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

An explanation of what I’m doing here.

[–] Chickenstalker@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

A better question is "What do you want?"

t. Mr. Morden (Babylon 5)

[–] TheRealJefe@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Whom do you trust? Whom do you serve?

[–] kraftpudding@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Who's asking?

[–] LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

The man your mom wishes she was.

[–] kent_eh@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die

[–] InigoMontoyota@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago
[–] SkybreakerEngineer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Not a Vorlon, that's for sure

[–] Mugmoor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 years ago

Do you want my real name, or a fake one?

[–] raker@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

"My Name is Guy Incognito!"

[–] Falmarri@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

This man is my exact double!

[–] pornhubfan@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

"your worst nightmare"

[–] EvilTwin@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

"Back off, man. I'm a scientist."

[–] Jikal@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

"I'm Duke Nukem, and I'm coming to get the rest of you alien bastards!"

[–] pyrategriff@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

"Let's just keep it light, okay?"

[–] tubbadu@lemmy.kde.social 2 points 2 years ago

I'm you, but stronger

[–] BodePlotHole@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago
[–] CapnAssHolo@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 years ago

I am CapnAssHolo. Captain of the Millennium Flatulence!

[–] raker@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Look behind you! A three-headed monkey!!

[–] pyrategriff@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

"Let's just keep it light, okay?"

[–] Artard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 years ago

I am Sancho!

[–] Matope@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

"I'm Frida's boss."

[–] jimmydoreisalefty@lemmus.org 0 points 2 years ago

My name is jimmydoreisalefty, nice to meet you! What is your name!?

You can also go with the 30 sec elevator speech or...

Other possible replies:

No one. [walks away, CALMLY]

Your soulmate?

Depends on the setting and people.