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How different from water does it have to be? Just not in the title?
Because both something like sparkling water and juice are basically water.
But I already pretty much only drink sparkling water so I'll pick that one if it's allowed (if the spirit of your question is "no flat water").
Sparkling water is where my head went too. What if you're stuck with one flavor tho?
Bud light. Itβs basically alcoholic water.
Maybe truly hard seltzer since it tastes better.
I'll take the large glass of Poison. 1 glass is more than a lifetime supply.
DβO, and then make a living selling my piss to chemical manufacturers
e:
How Drinking Heavy Water Could Kill You
Algae and bacteria can live with 100% heavy water and no regular water. Plant and animal cells are more complex, so too much heavy water results in sickness or death. One key issue is that heavy water disrupts mitosis, the type of cell division used to repair injuries and grow new cells. The mitotic spindles of cells containing too much heavy water simply arenβt able to equally divide a cell to form two identical new ones.
But, you have to continuously drink and eat only heavy water for several days to see an effect. Replacing 20% of regular water in cells with heavy water is survivable for humans and other mammals (although not recommended). Swapping 25% of water with heavy water causes (sometimes irreversible) sterilization. Replacing 50% of water with heavy water is lethal. Itβs not a pretty death, either. Heavy water poisoning resembles radiation poisoning or cytotoxic poisoning from chemotherapy.
https://sciencenotes.org/can-you-drink-heavy-water-is-it-safe/
fuck I changed my mind can I do green tea
Tea.
Spezi.
Horchata
My heart says unsweetened black iced tea, but after a bout of kidney stones I guess I'd have to go with an iced herbal tea. Maybe something minty.
In that case I'd have h2o too
Milk tea
Vanilla milkshakes.
The only thing that is more water than water, Cors light. But now, really I'd prefer to drink my own piss, since coincidentally enough, Cors Light is also one of the few liquid that is more piss than piss.
The most water-like thing I am allowed by your very contrived rules. Maybe water with two slices of cucumber.
Milk
Tea. There's a lot of room for variation anyway.
I would say milk, but I'd die pretty fast because I just cannot drink enough milk in a day to count for all the water I need, and the excess calcium/whatever would probably be very bad for me.
Maybe there's a type of non-caffeinated tea that gets the job done? Does that count as being cute?
People need water, this is not going to go well.
Wheatbeer.
Tomato juice, maybe?
Irohas Melon Cream Soda. Long since discontinued Japanese seasonal item from about five years ago. Others come close, none are as good.
Probably hydrogen molecules fused with oxygen with another hydrogen
Does this drink based magic, by chance, make refined sugars less problematic? I really want to say wild cherry pepsi but I drink a lot over the course of a day and I don't think my body will cope well with that much fructose.
If I want to live to see the age of 50 I think I'll go with cranberry pomegranate tea.