There's an argument out there that long lasting communes work out precisely because they require social sacrifices. Meaning that weird rituals and giving things up are what makes them hold together.

The idea is that by making sacrifices, you signal to the rest of the community that you will do your share.

Here's an older paper on it:

https://www.jstor.org/stable/2138608

This isn't 100% accepted by social scientists, though. Some newer papers cast doubt.

If it is true, then the good news is that it doesn't necessarily have to be Amish-level sacrifices and authoritarian control to get it.