The Internet in Ancient Times
Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.
This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.
CODE OF LAWS
1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.
2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.
3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.
4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.
5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.
6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.
Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.
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Unarmed? Absolutely. Humans are uniquely capable harassers. A gorilla would get winded after a short while and overheat not long after. The question isn’t whether the humans win, the question is how many people will die before the people start getting free shots at a barely conscious horizontal ape.
Unless the gorilla is windmill arming and people are just walking into the grinder, it’s always a win.
Last time this made the rounds I asked ChatGPT the question.
Tap for spoiler
In a realistic, unarmed, hand-to-hand fight, 100 average human men would almost certainly lose to a fully grown adult male silverback gorilla — unless they approached it with extreme coordination, strategy, and sacrifice.
Here’s why:
🦍 Gorilla Advantages: Strength: A silverback gorilla is 4 to 9 times stronger than a trained adult male human. It can lift over 1,800 lbs (800+ kg) in some cases. Speed & Reflexes: Gorillas are incredibly fast and agile for their size. They can run up to 20–25 mph (32–40 km/h) in short bursts. Toughness: Their bones are denser, their muscles thicker, and they can absorb more trauma than a human. Killing Power: They can crush limbs, rip faces, and bite with over 1,300 psi of jaw force — enough to crush a coconut or break bone. 👨 Human Limitations: Average Men: Most people are not trained fighters, and many would hesitate or flee. Unarmed: No tools, no weapons, no armor. That means no ranged attacks or serious damage dealers. Space Constraint: In a tight area, humans can’t swarm effectively. The gorilla could focus on one or two at a time. Could They Possibly Win? Technically, yes — in theory — if they:
Coordinated as a team with some willing to sacrifice themselves (i.e., get mauled or killed to restrain the gorilla). Dog-piled it, using sheer weight and numbers to pin it down. Targeted eyes, throat, joints in a sustained assault. Even then, it would result in dozens of human deaths or severe maimings. A rampaging gorilla could instantly incapacitate multiple men with swipes and throws before they even got close.
Verdict: 99.9% of the time, the gorilla wins, unless the 100 men are highly trained, brave, and coordinated. Even then, the casualty rate would be catastrophic. So, unless this is a highly tactical team of Spartans or martial artists, the gorilla reigns supreme.
I ask Todd at the rhe bus stop what he thought and he said he could easily defeat a gorilla single handedly.
Well of course, but the scenario is a 100 unarmed men, not one Todd. That scenario would just be ridiculous.
Here, watch someone who actually knows what the hell they're talking about explain it to you instead of listening to dumbass predictive text machines that literally cannot think it through.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cFf6YowOm7o
Really? And what exactly is a human naturally equipped with, that can do any kind of damage to a gorilla? Lol!
I don’t mean to be crass, but how does a hyena begin eating an antelope?
Lol! Are you suggesting that a human could do actual damage to a gorilla...by biting it?
A hyena has long, sharp teeth and a bite strength that can crush bone. Humans regularly break their teeth eating candy.
To answer my question, by forcing its head inside of the antelope and pulling its entrails from its live body.
Lol! I take it back. That might just work.
Touch the eyes, bite the balls, and lick the ears, of course.
Lol! Wet Willy it to death? Hmmm. You might be into something, there.
Fingers, arms and teeth?
Assuming the gorilla was successfully exhausted, you can continuously rip fur from it. Or you can bite it - human teeth and our jaw muscle are strong enough to go reasonably deep. That takes a lot of time though.
Or, provided you are able to coordinate properly, 10 people can hold down the exhausted gorilla which would allow the remaining people to strangle it by sitting on his neck or something. The jaw could probably be held shut by a single person since jaw muscles suck at opening the jaw.
All we would do, is break our hands, feet and teeth trying to do any kind of damage. Meanwhile, a gorilla can crush your skull with a single swat, or break your femur by simply squeezing and twisting its wrist. It wouldn't even require enough energy to eventually get exhausted.
No one is saying that you're just chucking a Gorilla and a Human/group of humans into a ring.
if the human/humans know that they will be fighting a Gorilla then they can fashion weapons and strategies.
A single human could easily kill a gorilla if they could choose the time and place of the engagement.
It's how we became the dominant species on the planet
The premise is and has always been 100 unarmed humans (I think men, specifically).
That is exactly what everyone has been saying the whole time. 100 unarmed humans in a ring with 1 gorilla.
I've not heard
unarmed
being specified. but that's not how humans fight.You could start unarmed and then improvise a weapon
Right, I don't know how you missed it, it's been unarmed the whole time. It's built into the premise of the original viral post.
It's a hypothetical. What you're saying right now doesn't matter. The hypothetical premise has always been "unarmed". Look it up lol.
Edit: i looked it up and cannot find the "original hypothetical premise" I claimed existed, so, fuck me.
That being said.. yeah. One man with a weapon bodies a gorilla. People are so fucking stupid.
But are 100 men stupid? 🤔
Think about how stupid the average person is, and then remember that about 50 of them are stupider than that! Hahah
So the answer seems to be, "yes"? I'd agree seeing the trajectory of humanity...
Exactly. Weapons are required.
Unarmed? Fuck, no.
Here. Watch someone who actually knows what the fuck they're talking about explain it to you. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cFf6YowOm7o
I don't use YouTube and you're taking a theoretical exercise very seriously. The reason people debate this question is because there is no definitive right answer.
Maybe take a couple deep breaths and calm down.
Oh so you're just actively refusing to take in informed information on the matter... No wonder you believe stupid shit.