this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[โ€“] Townlately 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm super social at work and share a lot of intimate details about my life, but even I don't think this should get you hated on. There are a few people who don't share on my team, and I respect the shit out of that.

[โ€“] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Just know, the reason we don't share, is because one of two things.

Either A) We're boring as hell, and don't want to have the same conversation every day.

"What did you do last night?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I sat in a chair and didn't move for literally 9 hours. Around the 5 hour mark I had to go to the bathroom. But I still didn't move. Eventually the feeling passed."

"Ugh. Fine. You don't have to tell me...."

Except that's literally true.

OR.....B) Wild BDSM orgys with women tied to each other with shared ballgags so they're always kissing. As we ask them trivia questions, and if they get it wrong, they get whipped. Then we all take turns and fuck each others wives. The wives are wearing hoods. So we don't even know who we're fucking, and they don't know who's fucking them. Sometimes one of them gets pregnant, and 5 years later you realize that her son kind of looks like you. She and her husband are raising it as their own, but you know. So they have to know too, right? I mean, c'mon. It's obvious. So now you wonder if you should talk with them about it or just move. Eventually that kid is going to be old enough to figure out he looks more like his neighbor than his dad. Hmmmmm........

"Hey, what'd you do last night?"

"NOTHING!"