this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2025
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disabled
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leg pain has been pretty bad lately aggravated by the weather so i'm stuck using my cane more than i've had to in almost a year :') also having to deal with a lot of brain fog from my mental health medication and it makes me feel like i can't type a coherent sentence so there's that too. we push through i guess
not sure how to tag this but could be needed? a lot of self-loathing/invalidation ig
ive been dealing with this issue for 9 years and i still havent mentally accepted that its going to affect my everyday life at least through the near future. i walked in to my psychiatric IOP program the other day with my cane (the first time i ever used it there, short walk from the parking lot means i dont need it 95% of the time in that building) and the looks i got from the other clients ive come to trust just made me ... embarrassed? i guess it was just jarring for people to see for the first time but i cant help but shake the fact that they think less of me now or that they think i'm doing it for attention? a couple of my ex long-term friends used to poke fun at my cane usage and call me a "grandpa" etc so that experience definitely hasn't helped idk.