this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2025
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I was on my usual bike ride a couple of years ago. On a particularly wide road, a car passed me and went way over into the other lane to do so, even though he could have kept the required 4' distance from me without crossing the double yellow line. Because he went so far into the opposite lane, a van coming the opposite way had to slow down a little bit - not even stop, just slow down. As this van passed me, the driver literally stuck his upper body out the window and yelled "you're gonna get somebody killed!" ... at me, not at the driver of the car that passed me.
I just couldn't believe the insanity of this dude. Like, I didn't make the fucking car pass me like that, and at most it made him get to the red light two seconds later than he otherwise would have.
This reminds me "nice" cars that do stupid shit because they see a biker. I just want cars to be predictable. I don't want them to be nice.
I can't stand the "oh I'll stop for you when I'm not supposed to at this 2 way stop" cars.
Like, dude. This doesn't help me. I have to wait and make sure the the car coming up behind you also stops and doesn't just pass you because you're being stupid.
And then now there is a car coming the other way and they aren't stopping (because they don't actually have a stop sign).
Can you just drive safe and predictable? I literally WANT to wait here until there are NO cars. Not 3-4 cars I now have to hope stop and don't kill me.
When people do this I literally just get off my bike now to make it obvious I don't want their "help". I've had too many times where people doing this have put me in danger. I have eyes. I want to wait until it's clear.
I understand and empathize with your frustration, as a commuter long boarder i have similar sentiments about how politeness can inconvenience me because of the precautions i have to take to stay safe. I would, however, like to point out that you are complaining about people putting in an earnest effort to exercise empathy for you; those who don't bike or otherwise do not have the experience to know that predictability is key, but they are otherwise attempting to care for your well being
The thing is that predictability is always key when you're driving no mater the situation. These are the same people who dont take their fucking right of way and wind up slowing down everyone. These are the same people who will stop inside a roundabout to let someone in and wind up causing a traffic jam.
Being "nice" behind the wheel is just being an asshole because you want to pat yourself on the back. Don't be "nice" while driving, be predictable.
Absolutely. Which is why it's so hard to get upset at them. I appreciate the gesture. But unfortunately we live in a world of cars. A nice gesture can quickly end with someone getting hurt.
Like, there is no world in which these nice polite gestures between bikes or pedestrians would ever have such high stakes. But sadly cars make it impossible.
Affective empathy without cognitive empathy is meaningless.
They do, but they make it worse instead.
I think that this is inaccurate. It's not an earnest effort, it's a bare minimum effort.
I had someone do that same thing one time when I was riding home from work (most rides I do are fitness/recreational, but I did occasionally commute via bicycle). In that case, it was right into the path of a cop going the other way, who had to brake hard to avoid a crash. Nothing came of it, but I had to laugh at the absurdity of it.