this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2025
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Unironically, though.
Stop trying to be "on time" and start planning to arrive early. That way when something inevitably trips you up, you've got a buffer to work with, rather than any deviation automatically making you late.
Legitimately I started doing this when I realized I'm a better person when I'm not rushing. I can take my time getting there, maybe help someone get their bags to their car, chat with the panhandlers, hold doors open without wishing the other person would hurry up, etc.
Better than just flooding myself with cortisol all the way to my appointment and arriving all flustered and shit.
My sister in law is chronically late. She uses this strategy and always tells herself a time 30 mins early, so she can get places on time.
On one occasion my brother asked her what time dance class for the kids was. She tells him 12:00, so my brother - being an "always on time" person - gets there for 11:45 so he's a little early.
Turns out the time my SIL told him was her personal fake start time, not the actual start time, so he's 45 mins early lol.
"Personal fake start time" is a great term!
It's transparent about what you're doing to others and leads into telling them the actual start time!
Rofl almost this exact scenario happened to me for first day on a job. I asked my partner what time I had written on the calendar then padded it again.
Plus side, it was a gallery job so I got to walk around and check out all the exhibits on my own, so when people asked me about them I actually had some deep reads.
Did you get the job?
Sure did. In fact I'm going to a shift in 3 hours.
For many people this is where the word s*** that you mentioned really does matter. The goal is to get to the thing before it begins which could be 30 seconds or 30 minutes early, whatever. And I think now when we all have digital devices, it's pretty easy to make use of your time by reading a book or the news or watching TikTok or whatever, so it's not like you're wasting time sitting around if you happen to arrive 20 minutes ahead of schedule.
Honestly the thing that helped me the most with my time management was Google Maps repeatedly stabbing me in the back. I was always leaving at the last possible second, relying on maps to tell me what that second was.
When I moved to the city and traffic became a serious concern, Google's '20 minute' estimate would balloon out to 30 minutes on important appointments like doctor's visits and work. So now I look at the estimate, add the higher of ten minutes or 30% to it, and make it comfortably on time to wherever I was meant to go.
Being 15 minutes early is on time.
Being on time is being late.
Shit happens.
On time is late. Nowhere do you show up "on time" and get started immediately. If you're getting to your 9am appointment at 9am, you've not accounted for parking, walking in, literally saying hello, taking your jacket off, whatever.