The only reason they increasingly shouted at you in the run up to the divorce was that their marriage was falling apart and divorce is one of the most stressful things that ever happens to people.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago

I have seen a divorce caused by the presence of a kid.

Coworker and her husband adopted a teenager who had issues. He started physically assaulting my coworker and she didn't feel safe in the house and wanted the kid gone. Husband said they'd made a promise to care for and love him. In the end, he chose the kid over his wife and they ended up divorced.

Also - I first heard this story from her when she had a breakdown about it on my first day at the job when I went to ask for the key to the supply closet.

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I always found it funny in the Between Two Ferns bloops when Zach asks that to Brie:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/si-HCqwJcW4

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

That's a top notch clip, thank you.

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm sure there are some kids who hate a parent and play the one against them.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

Having kids can be stressful, but if you don't play a largely united front and instead allow the kids to play manipulative games against your partner, you don't communicate, you take sides and turn on each other, then it's because one or both of you is snide and used the kids to undermine the other person and the relationship.

It's still not the kid's fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members. Kids start off life completely self absorbed and have to be taught to be kind, share, think about other people's feelings and prioritise relationships over things. No toddler knows this. All functioning adults do.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago

It's still not the kid's fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members.

Having kids myself and listening to them describe their fellow students’ situations at home, or even how we observe acquaintance’s kids act and how it mirrors parental behaviors, you can bet your ass that they learn from how their parents are acting and what they’re allowed to get away with.

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Having kids can be stressful, but if you don't play a largely united front and allow the kids to play manipulative games against your partner, don't communicate, take sides and turn on each other, one or both of you is snide and used the kids to undermine both the other person and the relationship.

This is me and my wife.

It's still not the kid's fault if they were brought up to tolerate and play emotional games against family members. Kids start off life completely self absorbed and have to be taught to be kind, share, think about other people's feelings and prioritise relationships over things. No toddler knows this. All functioning adults do.

This is my brother-in-law and his wife.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not sure which way round you mean that. I hope the whole family has more harmony and happiness than just now, though.

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well my nephew has threatened to come kill us. My son has him blocked.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wow. Sorry to hear that. That must be really tough to cope with.

[–] Geodad@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Eh, just during family get-togethers. It's fine though. I'm always packing.

[–] petersr@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

True. But.

Kids put a lot of stress on parents relationships.

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

Oh thank fuck, my mom blamed me for not divorcing my father /hj