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Because of the medication I'm on and basically having PTSD from relationships, I'm pretty numb to feeling anything. I feel love for my dear friends and their kids, and my dog and my aunt, but I'm just numb to all the shit my ex does, who I still have to live with, I have really no feelings towards my parents except disdain and vague pity, and anything bad or good that happens I'm super flat to, and even find the bad things sometimes a bit funny. The meds help in that I don't have spiralling anxiety attacks anymore at all which is wonderful, but I'm pretty detached, and while it's often super helpful, sometimes it worries me that when I finally can not live with my narcissistic ex anymore I won't get depth of emotion back. I worry he's destroyed it for good.
It took me a while to bounce back from a verbally abusive ex after I moved away from her. Getting yelled at to "go fucking kill yourself" stuck in my brain for a bit. My meds also further numbed me, but weaned off of those antidepressants eventually, with doctor approval.
It did get better for me, hope you can get out and start healing soon
Thank you, I hope so.