this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2025
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Explain Like I'm Five

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This story seems to have faded in the wake of events ad nauseam. We are all aware of Senor Luigi. However, most folks can’t recall the full name of the guy that allegedly Luigi gunned down. Mission accomplished.

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[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 32 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

I think the guy he allegedly killed, had a name that started with.... I think it was a d? David? Derek? Dddddouchebag. Douchebag, yeah. I think the person that died was a massive douchebag.

That seems right to me ....

[–] mambabasa@slrpnk.net 45 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Luigi didn't do it though. He's being set up by the prosecution.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I know, I was certainly spending time with him during the alleged attack. He couldn't have done it while sat across from me at that diner, many miles away from where the crime happened.

[–] Forester@pawb.social 1 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

You're thinking of dinner. A diner is a place that serves food.

[–] ipitco@lemmybefree.net -5 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Source? It sounds like a conspiracy theory based on nothing

What indicates that would be the case? Who would be the murderer?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)

There was no murderer. He died of natural causes

[–] irelephant@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago

After all, shootings are just a natural part of life.

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I think the guy he killed

Allegedly 😉

[–] misteloct@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Downvoted only for the winky face. I earnestly believe the guy is innocent and unrelated

[–] devAlot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Oh shit same here, the winky face wasn't meant to imply otherwise. Was more like "hey now, let's be clear on what's what"

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 3 points 3 days ago

Oh right, let me correct my wording.

Thanks.

[–] 6stringringer@lemmy.zip 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago

Did someone light a match? Is he being cremated?

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago
[–] Rakonat@lemmy.world -1 points 3 days ago

I'm pretty sure it was Bob. Or Brad. Billy? Bitchass! Yes it was definitely Bitchass.