this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2025
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This. I remember moving from a conservative area in a border state, to the South for a short time, and being absolutely floored by the things that were quite openly said and laughed about. And I was no wilting violet, I was already quite used to hearing vile shit.
"Every population is secretly filled with our allies!" is delusional.
“Exceptions to the rule” were so ingrained in every one when I lived in the south that it was impossible to have a decent conversation about anything.
My gay cousin is fine, but gay people…
My best friend from high school, who is black, is fine, but black people are…
My abortion was necessary but abortion at large is wrong…
My trans child needs gender affirming care but…
My Latino workers are upstanding people but Latinos are…
My EBT/Snap benefits are deserved but people on welfare…
My drug use is fine and doesn’t harm anyone but…
I mean, I know this is a general human trait, but it felt almost institutionalized to a point where people could say incredibly horrible shit about people and then deftly sidestep the contradiction when called out. It really did feel like being in a fever dream (and not from the crippling humidity and heat).
Oh God. In my border state conservative area, growing up, that was the constant refrain. I'm borderline having flashbacks, lmao
Apologies for the memories.
What really made my head spin was encountering the self-loathing types who would argue against their own interests. I recall listening to a man, who had lived with another man for about 20 years, tell me that gay marriage was wrong but that he wanted his partner, who was a few decades younger, to be taken care of when he eventually passed.
That was when I truly realized that something was wrong with everything.