this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2025
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I think ~~this 'meme'~~ the title of this post is a great example of what the problem really is. I do not have any issues with trans people. What I have a major problem with is that voicing an opinion, or have any form of meaningful debate, is met with immense aggression, trolling, cancelling, intimidation.
I am for example not completely convinced about trans women in female sports and am sympathetic to arguments from both sides. Even voicing that will cause me to be vilified by one side.
Another example is transition care for children. I believe that at a young age making an irreversible choice is dangerous and we should be careful. Not saying care should abolished, just saying that such a big life decision needs extreme care because it can cause irreparable harm later in life. Again a reasonable, well willing position that will cause this to be downvoted into oblivion.
So, trans people, I support you to exist, be happy, live a meaningful life. But unfortunately there's a group of loud people who are honestly behaving like psychopaths who are making it hard to stay sympathetic. Wake up.
(Edit) Wanted to share this NY times post that puts thing much more eloquent than I ever could: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/06/26/opinion/gay-lesbian-trans-rights.html
Wrong place wrong time.
You're vilified because you're acting like a villain. People don't want to debate your neckbeardedly presented well ahcktuallies while they're fighting for the right to exist.
We don't have this fight when it comes to other medical matters. Like if kids with cancer should get treatment even though chemo and surgery could have long-lasting repucussions. The alternative is they die. People who don't get proper medical treatment die. Trans kids die of depression and suicide without treatment. Those are real things, there are real risks to not treating a medical condition. It's not a matter up for public debate just because some dickwads are trying to distract everyone by making healthcare for a specific group of people political. It's medical, we have facts and data that say trans people need healthcare to support their transition to live healthier longer lives. There are fucking doctors out there with years of practice who say yes, these kids need medical intervention. And here you are bitching that no one will debate you in a place where, again, people are fighting to exist. And you're bringing up tired arguments because you gotta be that guy.
We have data on trans performance in sports and there is no clear advantage.
Besides, if you're a world-class athlete, you already have a way different kind of body than most people. There are plenty of biological advantages that are celebrated in sports rather than weeded out. Want to start making sure everyone is the same height and weight for every sport, too? Same lung capacity? Reaction time? Born in the same country? Live at the same altitude? Same race? If you want to get advantages, there are clearer divisions along racial lines than trans status. No, I don't advocate for segregation in sports because I'm not a goddamn monster of a person who can't think for two seconds about why that's idiotic.
Fuck off. Stop being a moron. Show some goddamn empathy.
How is anyone supposed to show empathy, let alone learn anything when even the slightest hint of wanting to have a conversation is met with this kind of reaction? I'm the villain? OK, but then you're an extremist.
I made it clear in my comment what I support, and it was certainly not denying anyone's right to exist. None of what I said supports the claim you made. What I pointed out is a major problem is exactly what you illustrate with your comment. It's impossible to discuss anything when 2 sides are so entrenched and unwilling to debate. I get the urgency and gravity of what is happening right now, but for people like me, who consider themselves very sympathetic to the trans community, you're making it very hard to help. It's either support everything we say, or shut the f up. That's never going to work.
And on the data you're referring to around gender-affirming care, show me. Latest I heard, this is a very young field of study, and data, if any, is inconclusive. And yet here I am, supporting gender-affirming care, having to defend the position that please can we tread with care. Insanity!
As you (seem to) point out, trans people in sports is a different conversation. The science is clearer, but now we have a group of formerly (and frankly, still) marginalised people (women at birth, biologically) who fear unfair advantage. Much more political, philosophical even, a much harder debate. I empathise with both sides, how villainous of me.
So, showing empathy to you is hard. You reap what you sow.
Saying you're supportive vs. actually doing the work to listen, understand, and be supportive, are much different things. Your empathy is performative if you don't back up your words with actions, no matter how you dress up your opinions with empathetic-sounding statements.
Consider this: If you're truly empathetic and open minded, why do you need to keep pointing it out?
The fact that you present an opinion piece from media owned by special interests to support your argument is enough to see why you believe what you do.
I have a group of friends, some of whom are trans, some of whom have medical degrees, and we have these discussions all the time. However, when someone talks about their right to exist being threatened, in a world where their right to exist is being threatened, is when you've decided to come in complaining about how poor you can't engage in any polite discourse because people downvote you.
A number of people here have told you why this is the case, but you proceed to play the victim.
There are more than two sides, and no, the science on sports isn't more clear than it is on gender affirming care. Even in the pub med links someone else posted, which they apparently hadn't read in entirety, it go into how controversies around trans identities is sports has become a solution in search of a problem. You should read those links.
I don't know what about my post made you think I wanted or was willing to extend empathy to your point of view. Was it when I called you a moron or an idiot?
Hi. I’m not sure what data she’s referring to that shows trans women have no athletic advantage in sports.
I’m trans and I disagree completely.
I believe the issue at hand is, and always has been, male puberty.
I don’t want people who went through male puberty physically competing against people who haven’t.
Male puberty gives an advantage that is not really possible to “undo” completely.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9331831/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10641525/
Also, you are not bad for asking questions, or sharing your assumptions. I welcome them.
You mean well. That’s what matters.
Thank you.
Hey, thanks for this thoughtful response. This is basically what I'm seeing happening; I don't think it's a black and white, clear cut situation. On the one hand there's trans people, who feel discriminated against on this matter, on the other hand there's women who have similar sentiments on the same. And here I am agreeing with them both. An impossible position. Agreeing with one side is denying the other. I don't see a solution to this and that really sucks.
I didn't actually comment to ask questions to be honest, but to comment on the polarisation that is happening, and that folks who are sympathetic perhaps become less sympathetic when immediately being put away as Satan. That's burning bridges which you can't afford as a minority.
But, I'm happy I did comment because there's also some really good insights here and thoughtful responses. I don't know any trans people IRL, so it's valuable to me.
Thank you