this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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My parents were strict about things that didn't matter. They taught swear words and being gay was bad but never taught me anything about surviving life or making money or managing hobbies or anything having to do with self growth or independence.
They limited my ability to grow. Along with society at the time and then blamed me when for it when I became an adult and was socially dysfunctional.
It's weird... If you're not teaching your kids no one really is. They'll end up learning from entertainment or people taking advantage of them. But still people have kids like it's a set it and forget it process and then blame the kid/person for not knowing x thing.
I'm having the exact same issue. Never taught me any life skills. My mum was told by the GP to get me tested for aspergers (as it was then) when I was 15, and she sat on that for over 10 years. Meanwhile I grew up hating myself for not being able to do things that my peers could. Things got worse when I had to get a job and I didn't have the social knowledge to pass interviews. My self esteem got worse, my anxiety ruled my life. I would keep attracting men who treated me like dirt and I couldn't let go because I was so desperate for someone to love and accept me.
She passed away three months ago and now my dad wants to kick me out and I have no freaking idea how to survive in the adult world. I don't know how to go about renting or setting up utilities, I struggle with navigation so my fear of getting lost stops me going places. I'm going to have to leave London because I can't afford a place here. All I get is, when are you moving out? Dad wants to sell the house. It's not fair to deprive your sisters of their share of the house. No offers of help. No acknowledgement that decades of my mum wrapping me in cotton wool and controlling me has left me dysfunctional.
Similar story here. It really sucks to feel like I'm still learning how to be a functional adult. I hope you keep making progress and celebrate all the little victories along the way.
Religious?
My dad was on point with religion. Partially maybe "got". An ex alcoholic etc... but he is somewhat down to earth.
My mom didn't/doesn't understand spirituality ...i don't think. It's just raw religious power. Her Mom was my babysitter for the first 6 years of my life. I wasn't allowed to watch Nickelodeon. I think I vaguely remember not being able to watch sesame street. She would talk about angels.
I don't disagree with her now.. Nickelodeon and sesame Street is bullshit. But I don't think I wouldn't let a kid watch it or call it evil like if you watched it you'd go to hell.... Ide teach them that it's marketed ideology being taught, or at least try...
But as a kid. Maybe 8 or 9 I didn't realize it absolutely at the time but I was gay curious. I told myself I would kill myself because from my environment I knew that was wrong. I always told myself at least by the time I graduated highschool I would kms. Graduation came... I found weed and alcohol... So I stayed alive. I said... At 21 I will kill myself. My 21st b day came. I got stoned and drank till I was wasted and hated every moment of it. I stayed alive. I'll kms when I'm 25 I said. I turned 25... Same story... Weed and alcohol.. underground interest...
I'm almost 40 now. And life gets more fucked ... But now I dgaf. Fuck this place.
I've put a noose around my neck and tightened it till I pass out.
Everyday it looks more real that you are not actually crazy and American life might be a hell for humanity.
Holy crap m'man! Same!