this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy
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Well, the discussion did move into whether the response to the guy's question was a fair one.
The better response would have been, "I don't know, I don't think of them in terms of songs, I think of their albums. Of all of their albums, this is the one I like the best. It's got "XXX," it's my favorite song by them."
That's an answer that would make him sound like the dickhead that he is, instead of making you sound like a savagely defensive female.
Of course, it only works if you do know the album on your shirt, and you do know one song off of it. Otherwise, I'm kind of in the "don't wear T-shirts of bands you don't listen to" camp. It's on your chest for the entire world to see and JUDGE YOU FOR IT, at least pull it up on Spotify and give it a spin.
Give it a rest. You’re not a woman and you’re failing to see the likely negative scenario this kind of question would arise in, so there’s no need to explain what a better response would be.
If you’ve opened a conversation through a band shirt and you weren’t an asshole, good for you. Then the post isn’t about you and there really isn’t a reason to be so defensive.
Turns out, if you’re not an asshole then you’ll likely not be treated like one. And if you still are, it’s okay — it’s likely not personal. Still no reason to get super defensive and cry that it’s “not all men” and that “all women are taught not to trust any man.”
Btw, “savagely defensive female” comes across terribly.
Valid, except I chose the words "savagely defensive female" carefully, and posted them fully understanding the impact those words would have. But I felt it was important to demonstrate how that response would be viewed by nearly every man. I fully understand how cautious women have to be around men, but it is important for women to understand how responses like this would be viewed.
There is so much division in America (and the World), I wish men and women could at least try to get along better, but it only seems to be getting worse, because EVERYONE is on the defensive when dealing with the opposite sex. Look, we all want the same thing: to get laid. It's literally what life is all about. Can't we try to be cool about it, on both sides?
That she's cool and capable of standing up for herself? I'd much rather hang out with her than the dickhead that asked her the question.
You don’t get it.