this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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You’re not supposed to have a gut wrenching feeling 24/7 when in a relationship.
A relationship is a friend you do extra things with.
I dunno how I feel about this summing up. Like, yeah, but also so much more. For one they mostly remove gut wrenching feeling xD
Or, to bring Relational Anarchism to bear, a relationship is an ongoing interaction between people, sometimes even just with one's own self. Then, having established that a relationship exists, the participants of this relationship may choose to define said relationship using whatever terms and conditions they feel are fitting. And here's the clincher: nobody outside of the relationship gets to have any say in what ANY aspect of that relationship means. Friendship? That's literally got "ship" in it, but parenthood? Also a relationship. Professional, personal, inter-personal, monogamous, non-monogamous, poly, aromantic, FWB... All valid terms to use, and not a single one of them can possibly define a relationship by itself.
I kind of get what you are saying but parenthood is not like this. The kid doesn't get to have a say, and there are extremely important laws on what you can do both with kids and their other parent. And a hateship? Like, what if a dude just starts hateshipping you because he was mistreated and is in pain, you can call the police and say fuckety fuck off or go to jail, so society has something to say about it too. Even disregarding these exceptions, I don't get a lot of aha moments from this perspective? Maybe that's a good thing but I feel like if someone doesn't understand these basic teachings about relationships, they're probably traumatised real bad and it's a good message. At the same time if it is aimed at bigots, they have pretty specific other reasons for why they think it's their issue what other people's relationships are about, and those are more akin to brainwashing and propaganda than straight trauma, (but it could always be both I guess). Free love has been around for many years now, and there was no societal issues, so any dissent on the topic should be extremely easy to dismiss. Maybe I'm underestimating the current state of the US though.
I am a relational anarchist, but I was simplifying. No need for quantum physics where Newtonian physics do the trick !
Im gonna use that phrase from now on , thanks stranger!
There’s probably room to make it snappier, have fun !
Yep, a good relationship should just be your favourite person to spend time with that you also find sexually attractive (and vice versa).
I have an anxious attachment style. My brain says no, fuck my feelings regardless. :(
I'm gonna wrench her guts, alright?
"extra things" ;3
That consistent light nausea is just how true love feels, bro!